Okay, the title of this video implies that everybody taking part in this thing was hammered. Personally, I wasn't there, so I can't really stand behind that accusation. I mean, I'm pretty sure BUCKTON was hammered for the whole awards show. i can't really say for sure whether or not Alektra and Kaylani are. You'll have to judge for yourself. Unless the two of them show up here at POPPORN and leave a bunch of comments and whatnot, which we all hope they will.

Anyway, as you see, this is the first batch of footage we cobbled together from the hot shit AVN Awards in January. Sure, it's not exactly timely, but who the fuck gives a fuck? Come on. Lots more to come. You wait and see.

As we mentioned yesterday, sure, we brought cameras to this years 2010 AEE event but when it comes to missing the moment, it's often what we do best. As you can imagine, every adult porno star was there, hanging with fans, drinking alcohol and, in some instances, having sex in odd places at a rather large hotel/casino. It's pretty much how these things work.

You might recall around this time last year, we posted an article about the annual IVD/ECN warehouse show held in lovely Hightstown, NJ for adult store owners, vendors, retailers and the like. What made that article so interesting is that it was actually a rant about how POPPORN.com, located only 40 minutes away in Philadelphia, PA had NOT been invited to the annual gala. Sure, we might not have technically deserved to be there, but honestly, we like free shindigs with food and alcohol and thus, we felt we deserved an invite.

Something you may or may not know about the POPPORN crew: we never, never travel anywhere without a camera. There's just too much goddamn gold going on the world to risk missing even a minute of it. So when a bunch of A-list pornographers take us out for a relaxing night on the town, you know we're gonna be weazing as much footage of them as we can. Whether they like it or not?

Remember that fucking line. It's gonna go down in history as one of the best lines ever uttered. It'll be up there with "Life is like a box of chocolates" and "End of Line" and shit like that.

Remember when BUCKTON murdered Ashlynn? We sure hope so, but on the off chance you missed that nugget of slightly-pixelated cinematic diamonds, it's right here. And you probably want to watch it before you groove out on today's epic sequel. Otherwise, this thing might make no sense at all, instead of just a little bit of sense.

Did we mention that today's video is an epic? Because it totally is.

Um, who remembers the big porno thing that happened in Vegas a few weeks back? What was it called, ABM? ATM? Something like that?

Whatever it was, we're aware that most of you missed it. And we'll never forgive you, because POPPORN felt really fuckin' lonely while we were out there. But we managed to pull ourselves together and have one fucking hell of a great time anyway, thanks mostly to BUCKTON's extra-special co-host, the all lowercase porn sensation, jessica drake!

Okay. it looks like the POPPORN jet touched down safely in Las Vegas. Thank God it did, too, because we - wait, what? Yes, we have a jet. Of course we have a jet. What, do you think we travel by fucking hot air balloon or something? What kind of two-bit shitstorm do you think we're running here?

So dig this...

Let's say you are a 26 year-old male performer in the adult industry. Sure, folks don't really know who you are but you've been in several films. More importantly, you have a good agent and have perfected, "blue steel". In fact, you've perfected it so well that a google image search finds a vast swarm of pouty-lipped pictures of your perfectly poised Zoolander posturing for the world to enjoy.

You'd be pretty stoked right?

It had to happen. Since POPPORN began, Spock BUCKTON has been insulting women, offending women, scaring women, confusing women and occasionally even attracting them. But he's never killed a woman before.

But all good things must come to an end, and BUCKTON is an unstoppable force of nature. So this was how it had to end - in BLOOD.

Stop right there, you motherfuckers! Before you watch this brilliant piece of guerrilla-style, avant-garde, groundbreaking, art-house, porn-laced cinema, you gotta drag your ass back and watch part one!

In part two of THE PORNOGRAPHASMIC PHILADELPHAZATRONIC POPPORNOMATIC EXPERIENCE, Spock and Meat are fed the fuck up with these west coast smut stars and their hifalutin' 'tudes. These fuckers have no goddamn work ethic, as you'll see when Spock and Meat force the big-time stars to ship porno in our warehouse!

Digital Sin / New Sensations contract star Ashlynn Brooke moved recently. No, we're not telling you where but needless to say, she has some free time on her hands while she gets set up. Sure, she's busy planning her take over of the free world, ala Stalin but this Sooner is a sweetheart even after a genocidal weekend. Wait, what?

So, you've heard us mention that ridiculously sick party weekend of ours, right? The one with all the big-shot porno stars? The one that a lot of you were smart enough to attend, but some of you (we're lookin' at you, Dave Moves) didn't because you don't have any sense in your fucked-up skulls?

Well, regarding that weekend...

Hey fuckaz!

Have you seen the recent New Sensations hit, Ashlynn Goes to College? We saw it, and we thought it was a pretty breathtaking piece of adult cinema (also called "peoplefuckin' movies"). It's got it all - comedy, top-of-the-line fuckin', and a dude who looks a lot like Walter Matthau.

We've been talking about our bitchin' rad weekend with porn stars for what feels like a billion years now, and who can fucking blame us? Don't answer that question, motherfuckers, or we won't share our plethora of video treasures that we captured over the course of said bitchin' rad weekend. Speaking of which, the plethora of video treasures begins now!