James Deen doesn't love you. He loves your money. James Deen doesn't want to have sex with you unless he's getting paid for it and James Deen certainly doesn't want to know you unless your name is Benjamin. This may be a hard reality to come to terms with if you're a Deenager, but if you're the type of person who needs a handsome, well-endowed fella to fill a position on any sort of film production (whether or not semen is required on command) well, this might be information that you find very interesting.

Let's dust off our collective memories for just a moment. Remember last January when we got all excited (and thus made you twice as excited), because we had announced that we were teaming up with Lee Roy Myers to make a bitch-ass awesome porno movie called Pink Lips? We had big plans to shoot it, edit it and get it out there for the public to consume through their boners. It would be ready to go in a matter of weeks. I mean, it was in post-production by the end of February.

Hey, Lee Roy Myers. We just watched that Pron movie you made. While it had some kick-ass performances in it, we gotta say...this movie had some big script problems. Lucky for you, since you and POPPORN are bound to one another until death, we figured we have the right (and perhaps the duty) to go ahead and fix your movie.

For those who aren't in the know, Pron: The XXX Parody is a porno spoof based on the Tron film franchise. The story revolves around a guy called Tony Rosano who has to deal with glowers, lady glowers, grizzles, light-up frisbees and poo. The film features music by Hype Jones, which is a pretty good reason to watch the movie right here.

A lot of people don't know this, but when you make a movie, you're really supposed to put the trailer together before doing anything else.

You know that old saying, "When It Rains It Pours"? Well, this week proves once again that cliche's, while annoying are often times true.

As you might have read on this here blog or via other, more reputable adult news outlets, POPPORN is back in the movie making saddle. This week, we'll be heading out to Los Angeles once again as not one, but two of our films will be made. It's been a while since we shot our last film, the multiple award nominated (and multiple award losing) teen drama Delinquents so we're pretty excited to be producing once again.

As we mentioned earlier this week, we're pretty excited to have partnered up with Lee Roy Myers to begin producing some new adult films in 2011. Shooting begins on our first collaboration, Pink Lips mid-February and we'll be sure to give you behind the scenes photos and updates as they happen. However, we wanted to make sure that we introduced you to our cast.

We've been sitting on our hands for a couple of weeks just waiting to announce this little morsel of awesomeness. Finally today, we can announce our big news for 2011. As you know, we've been in the business of making porno movies for a little while now. We've even been nominated for several awards and a bunch of 'em have sold really, really well. Last year, while we were at the 2010 AVN Awards show, we were introduced to Lee Roy Myers. Several folks in the industry had said to us, "Guys, you should meet Lee Roy. You will get along fabulously! In fact, you should work together." Welp, once we met Lee Roy we sort of agreed...and it turned out the feeling was completely mutual.

What the fuck? We made another video!

For the past few years, we've seen an onslaught of porno spoofs and parodies that would make even master parodizer Al Yankovic sick with excess, and as everybody knows, there's certainly no end in sight. I suppose they must sell well and apparently somebody likes watch them, because the industry just keeps on chugging them out. But the question that has always stuck in my mind when thinking of XXX spoofs is why is everyone staying away from the good shows? Why haven't we seen a Twin Peaks parody? Why no Arrested Development? Why no Night Court? To be fair, I'll admit that Night Court XXX very well may have happened, and maybe I just missed it.

(Note: POPPORN calls dibs on Twin Peaks. Don't fucking touch it, Axel Braun!)

Now, we're not naming names, but the adult industry is somewhat notorious for taking the easy way out. Just look at this blatant attempt to do as little work as possible or this one over here. Honestly, most people who work in the adult industry are only there because they failed at one thing or another in life and thus, found refuge in the easy going, adult-porno arena.

Hell, look at us. Collectively, we're failed musicians, artists, film makers, comic book authors, writers and love makers. Thus, we carved out a little niche in the back of the short bus and set up shop. Don't feel bad for us, some people have to be the folks who stand and wave as the parade goes by.

I guess that, perhaps, I ought to come clean right off the bat.

Lee Roy never said that New Sensations should "suck it". I made that part up. That's a trick of the trade in the news media business. It's a way to get people reading. You gotta shock them with the headline. Like way back a hundred years ago or so when that newspaper printed that headline about Dewey beating Truman. It was an attention grabber. So if anybody from New Sensations is reading this, I apologize if you had any hurt feelings or anything from the headline. Still, you just lost the talents of Lee Roy Myers, the premier spoof-man in the porn industry. So that's gotta be a drag.

Holy fucking shit. There are some days when it really, really pays to get out of bed. Not most days, I grant you. But today, when I stumbled over to my computer to see if that cheap fucker from ebay shipped the collection of Major Bummer comics I ordered, I was greeted with a totally worthwhile and, in fact, mind-blowing surprise: legendary cinematographer Roger Deakins is joining POPPORN for our next feature.