It's that special one-sided love where he doesn't know I exist, but it's love none the less.

I'm single handedly bringing the HJ back. Pun intended.

Well, sorta. Short of nude cat fights and joint suds filled explorative showers.

I've been on a steady GTL fix lately, except skin cancer isn't my favorite variety of the cancers, and I get my laundry done for me (what's the point of living in Chinatown if not to get same day laundry services, and my delicates folded into perfect little triangles). So I've modified the popular phrase to include: Gym, Titties, Lesbian-voyeurism.

In the pantheon of things that will rot your brain, I am either obsessed with or work in the big three: pornography, comic books and video games.

Porn you know all about and if you don't, well, happy 18th birthday kid. Video games we'll talk about another time — but this time around, the focus is on comics (especially since I just finished Garth Ennis and Steve Dillion's excellent series, "The Preacher").

Some people seem to think that knowledge of a public persona's real name is some kind of power to wield, like an old pulp fantasy novel in which a demon can be summoned by the proper pronunciation of its twelve syllable long name.

It's not.

I won't pretend to know how all women like to get fucked, and I'll even go as far as to say that maybe I'm not the most intense when it comes to what I like between the sheets...but what I can tell you, are some helpful tips that will not only have me enjoying myself during the boning, but also leave me wanting more of dat cock ;)

Cum Dodger : a person, usually a porn actress, trying hard to avoid a facial cum shot.

Too bad she’s a cum dodger.

I was asked the other day by a male friend how he could get my attention if we didn’t know each other and he saw me out in public and wanted to hit on me. I thought it was a really fantastic question, which I have a lengthy (but helpful) response to. In fact, a response so in depth, that I didn’t even answer him! I said I’d write an article about it. Ha! So here we are…

I am not a shy girl, but I don’t just walk up and talk to strangers. I am reserved, but if someone speaks to me, I speak back. Usually my responses to strangers are brief and to the point, unless I’m interested in them for some reason or another. Here are helpful tips to not only getting more than a short answer from me if you ever see me out in the real world, but how to potentially get my number and go out with me…

We're excited to introduce you to our new writer, Kendall Banks. She's a young lady with a lot to say. She works in the adult world as a cam-girl and is an avid writer. So look for more from her as the days and weeks pass in your bleak and sad lives. Hopefully she'll post some pics of herself to entertain you while you cry. Take it away Kendall...