You know how it seems like just about every story we report n has something to do with sex in Australia? It's as if the former prison colony is now just a great wide outback full of sex fiends and scumbags, right? Well, it appears that the Aussie government is fed up, as they plan to unleash the "great Aussie firewall" this June. The firewall is a mega-internet filter that will block as many as 1300 websites.

The goal, as stated by the government is to crack down on child pornography, extreme violence and terrorism. But fuck, man...what's it gonna do to just regular porno?

Holy shit! They're sending Janine to jail!

It's true. Former Penthouse Pet, Vivid girl and teenage MEAT BALL's favorite pornographic actress, Janine has been sentenced to six months in the clink, or the joint, or whatever you want to call it... and for tax evasion, of all things! And before you say to yourself that tax evasion isn't a hardcore offense, remember that this is the same shit they locked Al Capone up for, and that dude was one bad motherfucker (according to DeNiro's portrayal of him, at least), so we can only assume that Janine's been just as bad as Capone. Isn't it sort of neat to picture Janine beating somebody to death with a baseball bat over a fancy group dinner?

Continuing to deprive the viewing public of being able to mock his midget-penis, attorneys for Verne Troyer, a.k.a. Mini-Me, are seeking even more protection against the release of a sex tape he made with his full-sized ex girlfriend.

Filmmaker David Lord (real name David Allen Crawford) was charged last week with staging a sham marriage to Agnes Jeges, a Hungarian woman who wanted to stay in the country.

So she could have sex. For money.

Seems like a good reason to us but Lord faces a federal charge of perjury for allegedly lying on an immigration application and could face five years in federal prison where they have sex...not for money.

To be honest there are few things I like as little as an update. It’s nothing new, it’s rarely interesting and most of all how can one be properly pissed off, even remotely fired up, by a writer, in this case me, rehashing something they’ve spoken of previously. That’s not even to mention the fact of how worthless updates are because if the reader was even the least bit interested the first time, then they should already be playing along at home.

Last week we told you about California Federal Judge Alex Kozinski who declared a mistrial in the porn trial of Ira Isaacs when images labeled by some as pornographic were found on the judge's own Web site.

Well, the Judge's wife has come to his defense.

Marcy Jane Tiffany, which would be a pretty good porn name in its own right, wrote on the Web site Patterico.com that her hubby, Alex, "...is not into porn - he is into funny - and sometimes funny has a sexual character."

In the latest sign of the apocalypse, Pennsylvania state representative (I know it doesn’t effect all of you but I’m from PA and I’m upset about it so suck my dick) Paul Clymer a Republican/Fascist representing Bucks County introduced his Sexually Oriented Business Revenue Act last Wednesday to state legislators. The bill, if passed, would require strip clubs to collect a $5 “pole tax” at strip clubs to benefit the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape.

There's been an interesting twist in the Los Angeles obscenity trial of Ira Isaacs for distributing sexual fetish videos, of the bestiality and defecation variety (not to be confused with the Max Hardcore trial in Tampa which ended in a conviction).

According to the Los Angeles Times, Isaacs says the videos he sells are works of art and asked, "Do we really want to throw artists in jail in America?"

Well, maybe. The Bush administration does only have seven months left to throw every American in jail.