Stop right there, you motherfuckers! Before you watch this brilliant piece of guerrilla-style, avant-garde, groundbreaking, art-house, porn-laced cinema, you gotta drag your ass back and watch part one!

In part two of THE PORNOGRAPHASMIC PHILADELPHAZATRONIC POPPORNOMATIC EXPERIENCE, Spock and Meat are fed the fuck up with these west coast smut stars and their hifalutin' 'tudes. These fuckers have no goddamn work ethic, as you'll see when Spock and Meat force the big-time stars to ship porno in our warehouse!

So, you've heard us mention that ridiculously sick party weekend of ours, right? The one with all the big-shot porno stars? The one that a lot of you were smart enough to attend, but some of you (we're lookin' at you, Dave Moves) didn't because you don't have any sense in your fucked-up skulls?

Well, regarding that weekend...

Alright, fuckaz. Here comes the second installment of POPPORN's boozed-up dance party at National Mechanics, and while part one was a spectacle to behold, part two clearly makes part one look like a pile of shit with piss inside it, and maybe some boogs or something on top of it.

Okay. Let's say that Alektra Blue, jessica drake, Kaylani Lei, Courtney Cummz, Ashlynn Brooke and Jack Napier all humbled themselves enough to spend their Saturday night partying with POPPORN's resident scumbags. Can you guess which one of them ended up pissing on the wall?

So, how was everyone's Fourth of July? Ours was awesome. While the rest of you were out there pledging your allegiance to a nation that has some kind of ridiculous objection with images about sexual poo-poo, we were hard at work splicing together primo footage of gorgeous chicks taking their clothes off and frolicking around a crowded nightclub while our resident scumbag emeritus, Spock BUCKTON, spread his truth like a virus.

We've been talking about our bitchin' rad weekend with porn stars for what feels like a billion years now, and who can fucking blame us? Don't answer that question, motherfuckers, or we won't share our plethora of video treasures that we captured over the course of said bitchin' rad weekend. Speaking of which, the plethora of video treasures begins now!

Since a bunch of you douche-hounds decided to complain about the lack of zoobs in our last photo essay we figured it was about time to show you some shots of our new girlfriends without their clothes on from POPPORN's big ass party last weekend.

Alright, fuckaz. The greatest weekend in the history of great weekends has drawn to a close. The porn folks have split town and all us POPPORN scumbags are left here to sift through the video nuggets left behind (and there's a fucking lot of goddamnded footage to sift through).

We'll be rolling the goodies out all through the month of July, so check back often because you really don't want to miss one guzz-glazed morsel of the truth we'll be dishing out. Trust us.

Well fuckaz.... we pulled it off. POPPORN.com managed to throw a weekend of parties that made Mardi Gras look like tea time with your blind grandma. It made the AVN Awards look like a fuckin' Jonas Brothers concert (without all the underage fucking). Fuck - we even had some of the gayest dudes in Philly strutting around with big raging boners! NOW THAT'S HOT!

Do you realize we less than a week away from what could be the greatest 48 hours in human evolution?

Philadelphia, considered by some to be America's ugliest city (no doubt selected by wart infested, puss ridden, land-locked scumlords), is about to host a torrent of excess the likes of which has not been seen since the big bang.