Look, we love Kimberly Kane.

We've tried in the past to forget about her, to put her in the back of our minds shut from our emotional core. We had to, she is our ex-girlfriend after all. However, sometimes you just can't forget the taste of a sweet fruit plucked from the vine no matter how many hands have juiced it. So when Ms. Kane sent us some photographs along with the following note, we knew that Pandora's box had been opened once again.

The WEEK OF THE STARS is all set to plow forward, tearing down everything in its path with the mighty force of the world's greatest porn stars! Today's video, starring none other than POPPORN's fair-weather girlfriend, Kimberly Kane! Frankly, a one-on-one jaw session with this babe was pretty much our sole motivation for making the trek out to L.A. a few weeks back. So you can imagine how pissed off we were when the chosen meeting establishment wouldn't allow our cameras inside.

Fuck! We missed Kimberly Kane's birthday! It was yesterday, and we had big plans to celebrate her day in style, just like she would have wanted.

Maybe there's a part of us that was still pissed off at her for betraying us the way she did. In fact, we're definitely still pissed. Fuck her, man.

Anyway, happy birthday, dear. We're truly sorry that it's so late. But you shouldn't have broken our hearts.

We're not sure what happened. Maybe it's just the course of life?

You may recall that a while back we declared our love for adult super star, Kimberly Kane. There was just something about her. A sense of humor and a flirtation with danger. Our type of lady. We flirted for a while, whispered sweet e-nothings to each other, hell we even met her on our recent LA visit.

We figured hey, we're in like Flynn with this super lady!

Hi. Some of you have wondered who, if anyone, would ever be our girlfriend. Sure, we've pissed off adult stars, been drunk and disorderly and even caught some odd diseases along the way, but what we have discovered is that Kimberly Kane loves us.