It’s surprisingly difficult to maintain a hard-on while under the influence of heavy doses of Ketamine and cough syrup. This was one thing that I learned during the last couple weeks as I underwent one of my jerk off experiments. See, I’d been trying to pump as much cum as possible out of my sack while watching reruns of “One Day at a Time” and listening to “California Dreaming.”

Once upon a time, there was a TV program called, "One Day at a Time". It starred Bonnie Franklin as a single mom raising her two teenage daughters played by Valerie Bertinelli and Mackenzie Phillips. You may recall Valerie Bertinelli as the young lady who married Eddie Van Halen and Mackenzie Phillips as the child-actor daughter of Mamas & The Papas lead singer John Phillips. Like other tough and tumble 70's television shows, it was a sitcom that attempted to deal with more grown up issues like life and relationships as seen through a feminist perspective.

However, one issue they sure never dealt with was incest. Or did they...

Man, I love reading the news. Especially Fox news, because those fuckers know what a righteous fuck like me wants to groove on while he's chowing down last night's lobster chow mein. Why, just today, I was able to find such incredibly awe-inspiring stories as "Man Punched So Hard He Loses Half His Skull", "Patrick Swayze Prepares Road House Sequel" (that one may have been a typo), or the gem I really grooved on today about a Michigan mother who tracked down her long lost son after giving him up for adoption a decade ago...and then, uh, raped him.