Don't get us wrong. We're not wondering what Kagney Linn Karter is up to because YouTube videos of dog's poo'in remind us of Kagney. It's just that we are bored today, so while looking at videos of dog's poo'in on YouTube we got to wondering what Kagney Linn Karter is up to.
Did she die?
James Deen doesn't love you. He loves your money. James Deen doesn't want to have sex with you unless he's getting paid for it and James Deen certainly doesn't want to know you unless your name is Benjamin. This may be a hard reality to come to terms with if you're a Deenager, but if you're the type of person who needs a handsome, well-endowed fella to fill a position on any sort of film production (whether or not semen is required on command) well, this might be information that you find very interesting.
From the recent articles posted here you might believe we've become a promotional corner for camgirls. From contributor Courtney Page reviewing one of her favorite camgirls to our recent masturbatory posts about Cherry Crush it's easy to understand why you might think that but you'd be wrong!
So today we're spotlighting a camgirl.
Look, we remembered that we have a camera! And we've not yet used up all of our blackmail points with James Deen! Thus, another year of goofy red carpet interviews! Hot cookies, dickholes!
First up, magic moments with Stoya, Eric Masterson, Katie St. Ives, Evan Stone, Brian Street Team, former POPPORN correspondent Lucy Vonne and hip-hop mogul/terrifying dude Suge Knight.
More coming, dicks! No Dale Dabone footage, unfortunately!
What is this thing, this Cherry Crush that we've now become so enamored with? Is she a person? A lifeform? An idea? A statement of purpose? A question of regret? All of these things? None of these things? Yes? No? Once? Twice? Forever?
In this weeks Dale Dabone Friday video, Mr. Bone takes us into the recording studio. It appears as if Van Walen, DaBone's Van Halen tribute band is set to record some songs. Of course, the studio looks more like a rec room at a local Community College, but that's neither here nor there.
Last night, I dreamt that I was a teacher. It was my first day on the job at a new school and I was faced with the task of educating impressionable youth. While I felt anxious in the dream, by the end of the school day, I had successfully navigated the challenges any educator might face and felt an incredible sense of accomplishment. I had succeeded in providing a day of stimulating and educational activities that were fun and rewarding for the students and it filled me with an overwhelming sensation of satisfaction.
Then, I woke up.
You won't believe this, but yesterday, our home turf of Philadelphia was "whammo'd" by a hurricane! Or, if you speak the ill-squatch, "Illadelph was wham'd by a 'cane!" Fer reals!
Hey everyone, it's DALE DABONE FRIDAY!!!
In this video, DaBone shoots in 480p, explains that Hot Rawks will only work for those individuals who are old, young, male, female, who want to be horny, who aren't horny, are too horny, who want to loose weight, who want to gain muscle, who need a ride to the store and who are carbon based.
Wanna know what fucking sucks? There are all these celebrity sex videos available and not one of them feature the following:
- A four poster bed with canopy.
- A man ravaged by steroids yet, surprisingly well hung.
- A woman who's ex-husband is "sharing her" with his good buddy while he's in the other room.
- A star who calls himself, "a pig" having only eaten 10 minutes prior to the filmed coitus.
- A man who seems to be on either the verge of a heart attack or orgasm during filming.
Wait, what? Hang on a second!
It's Dale Dabone Friday, jerks!
For this week's entry, I'm afraid we're not able to present a video snippet of Mr. Dabone speaking about his journey as an actor or the benefits of Hot Rawks male enhancement supplement, as we have done in weeks past. Rather, today, we bring you the first (as far as we know) official statement from Wan Walen, South Florida's premier Van Halen cover band, in which Sir Dale plays the drums (unless he refers to it as "bashing the skins", which may be the case)..
Kudos to the Walens, as they've done a good job of capturing the bombast and overall unbearableness of Van Halen in their prime. I look forward to eventually hearing some tunes from Van Wagar.
With a similar waning interest in Mitt Romney's bid for the Presidency, we celebrate the culmination of Space Boobs. While not necessarily "must-see" internet, we've grown found of the idiots behind these videos and wanted to close the book on their bid for internet celebrity/youtube partnership dollars.
Well, there's always things like this.
Yes, it was only a matter of time before these videos started hitting the internet thanks to that moron's yappin' about legitimate rape and female reproductive organs being smart and shit, but we didn't actually expect any of them to be kinda funny.
We're starting to toy with the idea of making Friday and all Dale DaBone day around these parts. His style, charisma and goddamn good looks always leave us wanting more. Lucky for us, he publishes a lot of videos on YouTube that we can return to time and time again.
Dood knows what's up and now, with Dale DaBone Fridays, you will too.