It's been at least four or five hours since we openly suggested that each and every one of our readers show their support for disgraced Pennsylvania senator (and current Presidential hopeful) Rick Santorum. The egg timer in our office had gone off and we were just arguing about who was going to write this week's Santorum enthusiasm column when we stumbled upon this great little video from a few good friends of ours in the pornographic film industry. It turned out that they did our job for us, at least for one week.
If there's one thing we believe in, it's Rick Santorum. Well, that and reporting on things that have little to nothing to do with porn. But hey, that's how we do.
Wait up, shits. James Deen isn't finished with you yet.
Today's installment of POPPORN's increasingly-irrelevant coverage of the AVN Awards features a slightly drunker James Deen than we've seen in the previous videos (though this footage was actually shot a half-hour or so before the other stuff). Watch in awe as Mr. Deen interviews Dana DeArmond, Dave Navarro, Tommy Gunn, an anti-semite and some nerd guy who is simultaneously trying to interview him as well.
According to the liberal media, James Deen is beloved by nearly all females. Teenagers and children most of all. So it seems important that we mentioned that while James Deen encourages babies and adolescents to visit his blog as often as possible so that they may learn about which woman James happens to be "banging" that day, we here at POPPORN produce adults-only material, and we need you kids to leave now. You little shits.
Okay, having said that, enjoy the footage, kids! It's got all of your favorite stars in it, like pro-wrestler Chyna and air-ballerina Stoya!
With it being Thanksgiving we decided to troll the internet in hopes of finding something that, as a group, we were thankful for. We succeeded in finding this video that proved to us that we were thankful for not being completely and totally crazy as these guys.
However, at the same time we realized that we were not thankful for not being completely and totally awesome as these guys.
Anyways, see ya next week ya losers!
Should you choose to visit Dale Dabone's twitter page, you will note that Mr. Dabone (pronounced "Dab-One", naturally) does not choose to describe himself simply as a "porn star" or "adult performer". Nor does he opt for the oft-chosen tag of "actor/model". Instead, the veteran porn performer describes himself in the following bold and valiant manner: "Actor/Musician/Stunt Rider/Scoundrel".
While it is, regrettably, rather difficult to find footage of Mr. Dabone performing stunts, practicing scoundrelism, or (again, regrettably) acting...it's fairly easy to find footage of him rocking the fuck out from behind his rack-style drum rig. Really, anytime you see someone describing themselves online as a musician, you can rest assured that they've got lots and lots of footage to back it up.
Also, I lied. I was able to find stunt footage as well.
Brian Street Team is dead. Killed by a falling Wurlitzer jukebox, dopped from a nearby window by some clumsy movers while Brian happened to be strutting along underneath unaware of the danger capriciously teetering above his head. Citizens rushed to his aid, but were too late as the impact of the organ crushed Street Team's body almost entirely, with the exception of his left arm, which somehow avoided impact. In his left hand was his iPhone, which is said to have been in the process of googling the historic 1981 SNL performance by the legendary punk outfit Fear, which may have caused a momentarily lapse in awareness that sadly, prevented the rising pornographic star from noticing the vintage musical novelty careening towards him.
We recently cracked open Smash Pictures' new Halloween XXX Parody, figuring it would be a totally bad-ass flick that we could totally whack off to. I mean, there's bad-ass movies and there's totally boss-fuckin' bad-ass movies, if you know what I mean. We figured this would be in the latter category. The most bad-ass of bad-ass, if you will.
Little did we know, the movie would be so fuckin' weird! Check out this exclusive clip for a sample. Smash Pictures, your porno's broke!
Something goofy is happening again. Earlier today, we tried to sit down and have a collective office whack-off to that new movie from Belladonna. We've always enjoyed her work, and always found whacking off to it to be a great way to whittle away a lazy September afternoon. More than ever now that she's performing again, in fact. But then we popped Dick Sauce into the DVD player, and, well...something just wasn't right here. Watch the video and see.
Also, the movie's name is all wrong. There's, like, no sauce at all in the whole thing. I would have called it Tiger Muffs or Mega Cat Fuck or something like that.
Something weird happened. Completely by accident, we ran into Alexis Texas a few weeks ago, and she was a lot hairier than we had expected. Not in a "big bush" kind of way, because we'd honestly find that pretty enticing (and she usually sports a bit of bush as it is, so fuck it), but more of a "bearded woman" kind of vibe. That is to say, she's sporting a full beard at the moment. Sort of goofy.
Anyway, we caught a new vid with the newly-hirsute Alexis. Enjoy, you fuckin' scumbags.
Many moons ago, before actually having met the charming young woman, we had just naturally assumed that Shyla Stylez was one of those women with a deep, throaty, perhaps even smoky voice. Probably because we so often see her grimacing in what appears to be a pleasurable pain while she's getting totally fucked in porno movies. But as it turns out, she's got a rather bubbly, some would even say cherubic voice. It was a pleasant surprise. Not quite as pleasant as getting to view her massive fucking juggs in person, but pleasant nonetheless.
Anywhut, BUCKTON grooved out with Madame Stylez (which I always preferred to pronounce "Sty-lezz") alittle while back at one of them Exxxotica shindigs, And we taped it!
Hey New Sensations, your porno's broke!
We spent yesterday watching Dear Abby, the recent installment of New Sensations' Romance series. While it had some decent fuck action in it, the story spent way too much time dealing with suckers whining about whether or not they could find true love. Seriously, they should call this movie "Dear Blabby", there's so much jeep-honkin' yackin' goin' on in this thing!
Who wants to watch that? Not us, that's for sure.
Hey, we still haven't used up all of our footage from the AEE Expo that happened way the fuck back in January! Rough shits! We'll get through all of it eventually. We've been fuckin busy, okay?
Anyfuckinway, today's video stars Adrenalynn, who you might remember as being that one lady who has that tattoo on her butthole! Also, she does porn! And she's really friendly!
Hey, it ain't everyday that we get to interview AVN's Best New Starlet for our site! I mean, it probably happens once a year or so, because once we interview them once, we probably won't get them on camera again, at least for a little while. You know, we need some variety, and there's only one new best new starlet each year. But whatever, that ain't the point, you dickheads. The point is, we grooved out with Gracie Glam! And it was awesome!
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