We just got this hot-chittin' press release from Juliland about their recent awards! You might know Juliland as the internet's number one site for pictures of girls with messed up makeup and toilets and stuff. Now, we're not going to pretend that we know what a "JGrrrl" is, or even how to pronounce it, but that doesn't matter because the point is that Alektra Blue has just been named Juliland's JGrrrl of the year! That means, out of all the JGrrrl's of the past year, Alektra was the best! Again, we don't know wha tha heck it signifies but Alektra rules pretty hard so who cares!
Fuck you, everyone else! Alektra won!
We've just gotten word that Alektra Blue is leaving Wicked Pictures! We haven't heard the whys and hows as of yet, but being the uber-smart dickholes that we are, we're pretty sure we can accurately surmise the reasons for the split. It probably has something do with with either that rogue LA Cop who caused all that uproar recently, or the blade-running athlete who recently killed his girlfriend. I imagine one of those guys is a patsy for Alektra, who's been rumored to have her big toe (among other body parts) involved in all kids of illegal shit.
It turned out that we hadn't quite milked every last second of Alektra Blue footage yet. So there's this!
Have a nice weekend, dicks!
As the Philadelphia weather changes from the cool comfort of spring into the mauling warmth of summer, only one though gives us pleasure: we didn't use up all of our Alektra Blue footage yet! We thought you may enjoy watching Alektra and BUCKTON take turns slapping her vagina and so forth, so we have another new video! Hooray, huzzah and all of that good stuff.
This video, I might add, was shot at Cheerleaders, which is really the only gentleman's club in Philadelphia worth even considering. Although Club Ozz was pretty boss in its day, I guess.
Hey, Alektra Blue's back on POPPORN. We're sad to say that today's video is not quite as drunk as the last time she appeared. We can only blame ourselves for that one. Surely, a few more swishes of Ouzo could have done wonders for the video. But we do what we can.
And hey, somebody else is back on POPPORN, too! Weird! Rest assured, Spock Buckton still hates you.
Today's video was shot at Cheerleaders, which is Philadelphia only worthwhile gentleman's club. Fuck you, everybody else!
Occasionally, we get emails to POPPORN from readers asking us for our opinions on numerous topics. We've offered suggestions on the best stock to buy (Enron), the best location to pick up something delicious to eat (Rusty Schooner) and we've even helped a young fella in Tuscon propose to his long time girlfriend (let BUCKTON fist her ala Caligula while proclaiming, "YOU SHALL MARRY THE DUDE!") However, today, when a young lady named Allison emailed us asking who our favorite porn star was, we realized that we've never really answered this question.
I guess we lied. We didn't quit doing POPPORN. Obviously. I mean, we posted a new article yesterday. And we have a new video today. So, yeah...I guess we're back. We're sorry.
And hey, what better way to return than with our absolute drunkest video ever?
Now, if you happened to have seen the new Lady Gaga video for her song Telephone, the question above could pretty much be used in reference to absolutely anything happening during the nine minute video-aneurysm. We haven't been this baffled by a music video since R.Kelly's, Trapped in the Closet...which we fucking LOVED by the way..."Rosey the Nosey Neighbor"? C'mon, that shit was gold. And so, it's with equal excitement that we decree that Gaga's video rules just as hard.
Okay, the title of this video implies that everybody taking part in this thing was hammered. Personally, I wasn't there, so I can't really stand behind that accusation. I mean, I'm pretty sure BUCKTON was hammered for the whole awards show. i can't really say for sure whether or not Alektra and Kaylani are. You'll have to judge for yourself. Unless the two of them show up here at POPPORN and leave a bunch of comments and whatnot, which we all hope they will.
Anyway, as you see, this is the first batch of footage we cobbled together from the hot shit AVN Awards in January. Sure, it's not exactly timely, but who the fuck gives a fuck? Come on. Lots more to come. You wait and see.
What’s the best thing to do after you break up with a guy/girl? Find some new one to sleep with. That is pretty much the basis of this movie. Alektra Blue and Tommy Gunn both get dragged out by their friends who are trying to get them to hook up with people so they can get over their exes. Before we actually see them meet up and bang we get a whole lot of other penis and vagina match-ups before hand.
You might recall around this time last year, we posted an article about the annual IVD/ECN warehouse show held in lovely Hightstown, NJ for adult store owners, vendors, retailers and the like. What made that article so interesting is that it was actually a rant about how POPPORN.com, located only 40 minutes away in Philadelphia, PA had NOT been invited to the annual gala. Sure, we might not have technically deserved to be there, but honestly, we like free shindigs with food and alcohol and thus, we felt we deserved an invite.
This past weekend, Spock and I headed up to Edison, NJ for Exxxotica NY. Now, I say this everytime, but until they stop branding it as such, Edison NJ is, in fact, in New Jersey. It is not in New York and thus, the whole Exxxotica NY thing should really be done away with. Yes, we understand that the reason it's not held closer to New York is because of legal interference, but shut up!! Call it what it is, fucking Exxxotica NJ.
You may not believe this, coming from a respectable and responsible crew like us, but...uh...we lost one of our videos. A while ago. It was pretty embarrassing. But hey, don't worry - we found them shits! Sure, it took six months to find the fuckin' tape, but as a result, you fuckers are getting treated to POPPORN's first bonafide LOST EPISODE! It's gonna be awesome!
Okay. it looks like the POPPORN jet touched down safely in Las Vegas. Thank God it did, too, because we - wait, what? Yes, we have a jet. Of course we have a jet. What, do you think we travel by fucking hot air balloon or something? What kind of two-bit shitstorm do you think we're running here?