Happy goddamned birthday, Stoya. Here's an avant-garde birthday card for you. We'd make you a booberific movie like we did for Astrid and Kate, but we don't wanna fuck up your sales by giving away too much of your boobs for free.

Hey everybody! Celebrate Stoya's birthday by watching her fuck Chuck Dera!

STOYA: VIDEO NASTY

Days like these are where I realize that marketing and packaging have a lot to do with product success. Joanna Angel and the Burning Angel brand are so freaking hot that seeing Joanna's face and the BA logo on the box means I'm already turned on by association. If the packaging makes people horny, then for sure they'll have a good time with the toy, right? Right.

Look, we meant to post this yesterday to coincide with Stoya day, but we ran out of time. Thus, Stoya day continues and you get a real treat...

As you may recall, on May 16th, the POPPORN crew headed over to the ever-accommodating Club Risque' to interview Digital Playground contract star, Katsuni. What resulted was an amazing, in-depth and truly unique interview that included Katsuni bitching out Spock BUCKTON's ill mother and an attempt to teach Spock the rules of the pole. Both with hilarious results.

Is it narcissistic to review your own film? Probably, but we don't give a shit. If Stoya wants to tell everybody out there why her movie is worth watching and masturbating to, who are we to object? This week's review is sort of like a feature commentary, except it only lasts five minutes and is at least one million times more entertaining that any commentary track you've ever heard. Except that maybe that out-of-print Spinal Tap commentary.

Maybe it's because I'm not really much of a diva, but the intended use of the Vibrating Diva Pleaser didn't please me. The short nub didn't reach either my clitoris or asshole, the bumpy protrusion wasn't particularly vibra-licious and trying to get that sucker in my butt was like trying to pull a 'dogs in the bathtub'.

Last night we were filming. After filming, we went drinking. After drinking, Digital Playground's contract girl Stoya grabbed a handful of POPPORN camera lady, Double D.

By handful, we mean a motherfucking handful.

As we've previously mentioned several times (because you motherfuckers don't seem to get the picture), POPPORN.com recently partied fucking hard at our favorite bar. Spock, Bangs, Kate, Astrid, Yenna and our superstar way-too-good-for-us columnist Stoya™ were all there, making sure the night was as fucking magnificent as it could possibly be.

Man, sifting thru the hundreds of photos we took last weekend at Philly's very own Faux Pas at National Mechanics has been a chore, but a worthy one. We made some new friends, caught some odd diseases and came out on the other side safe and sound. We'll be posting a video today to show you some of the evening and a final video from this event on Monday.

Next up? We hit Club Risque on May 16th to interview Digital Playground's contract star, Katsuni then on May 20th we visit Kinky Quizzo. I can only imagine what will come of that...

So, as I mentioned, last Friday we hit the town. The girls came out, Digital Playground's exclusive contract star Stoya was in town and Spock was drunk. We're still working through the photos and we'll have lots of vids shortly.

However, I thought it best to get started with this little photo essay...I call this set, "You gave me what?"