THIS IS POPPORN'S 2000th NODE! CONGRATULATE YOURSELVES! WE DID IT, PEOPLE!
People. Are you bad-ass enough? Probably not. Chances are, you need someone to keep picking at you and encouraging you to be more bad-ass. That's where the fuckin' instigator comes in. Prepare yourselves, dicks!
Welcome to the first video from POPPORN's new headquarters, THE WHITE ROOM. The White Room is a place apart. A place unstuck in time and space, where the usual rules of logic may not apply. It is a place of uncertainty, a place of ambuguity, and a place of fear. Or it may be a soundstage or something. Who the shit knows? But Lia Lor was there, which was nice. Unfortunately for us all (and most of all for Lia), Dane Cross and Spock BUCKTON were also there. These things happen.
While viewing today's entry, we hope that you'll take a moment to appreciate Ms. Lor's Aerosmith T-Shirt (as seen in the video). Please note that it features not the young and virile Aerosmith of legend, but rather a present-day (or at least somewhat recent) iteration of the group, including a balding Joey Kramer, a reasonably overweight Brad Whitford and a histrionic shell of what the admittedly always-histrionic Steven Tyler once was.
It ain't like it used to be. What gives?
Hey, remember a week or two ago when we unleashed the bitch-ass magnificent trailer for our upcoming parodopus (parody + opus), The Official Revenge of the Nerds Parody? Well, you can go ahead and forget the fuck about that one, because the trailer we're unleashing today is gonna knock it's fuckin' block off!
Some of you may remember Dane Cross from the many pornographic features he's appeared in over the past two years or so. A few of them happened to have been written and directed by our team of as-yet-unlegendary pornographers, and thus, we've got a special place in our heart for the guy. That's why, from time to time, if Dane comes to us, asking us to help him promote a project he's working on, help him beg people for money, or help him kill a story he'd previously asked us to write (inside joke), we're generally more than happy to oblige. Plus, since this time we're talking about an upcoming porno movie, this piece fits into our usual modus operandi.
Last week, BUCKTON and I were out in Los Angeles to shoot our upcoming Official Revenge of the Nerds Parody. It's coming out in April and ended up being one insane shoot. There's really too much that went wrong on set to try and explain, however, for everything that went wrong, there was a mutually rewarding thing that went right to make up for it. While the shoot days were long and pretty grueling, we were able to snap a few sweet photos from set to show to you here. Thankfully, BUCKTON stepped in to describe what's going on in each of these photos because frankly, I was accidentally roofied on set and spent most of the time trying to pick up on inanimate objects. Odd. Nonetheless, this movie is going to be pretty fucking epic and we'll be giving you updates pretty regularly as we go into post-production. And off we go...
When I first started typing this, I accidentally misspelled Dane Cross's name. I wrote "Dance Cross" by accident. But instead of disregarding it entirely, I spent a few moments contemplating a no-holds-barred dance competition where hot steppers compete for the title of best dancer in the world, and those who don't measure up get nailed to the "Dance Cross", a thing not unlike the Shrike's tree of pain (from the Hyperion books, duh). It's a thing much like Richard Bachman's "The Long Walk", and I think it would be a bold move for anyone to create such a do-or-die form of dance battle.
I'd even wonder if Dane Cross was the guy to mastermind such a thing, but I know that he's got his hands full at the moment. And not only with his well-known profession of nailing lots of gorgeous women on camera.
See, aside from his well-know (and award-winning) fuck-making activities, Dane's been working hard on something called Hostel Territory, which you can read all about here.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in January, there was a big porno convention in Las Vegas, and Lucy Vonne stole our camera to interview some dudes during the course of it. You might recall, we posted her Mick Blue interview a little while back. Even though the video in no way featured Spock BUCKTON, we decided to post it anyway. Worth a try, right?
Yep, as promised, we've got the worldwide premiere of the Official Hangover Parody teaser trailer now running at full steam. We can't remember exactly when we promised it, but that's not really important.
Just a reminder. The Delinquents is coming.
The Gauntlet: Movie I did in 07 for Vouyer Media:
# of girls fucked: 1
# of boys fucked: 8
# of boys sucked: 24
# of loads swallowed: 24
# of creampies: 4
The Fans of Adult Media and Entertainment (F.A.M.E.) Awards — or as I believe it truly to stand for, Fingerers And Meatflogging Enthusiasts — took place recently, and if anybody noticed a sad, despondent look on the face of poor Dane Cross, that was because of the heartbreak he suffered in his experience attempting to escort his beautiful girlfriend, our own Faye Reagan, down the red carpet.
I recently had a threesome with Dane Cross and another young lady, whose name I will leave you all to wonder about. It was not my first threesome and I’m positive it wont be my last. I cant say that I didn’t enjoy it, but I also cant say that I walked away completely satisfied.
I guess what it just comes down too is that I’m GREEDY. I don’t like to share. And that is my problem with threesomes...well, sort of. Let me revise that statement. That is my problem with Boy/Girl/Girl threesomes.
Tuesday night I hit ye olde Porn Star Karaoke for the first time in many moons. According to Rising Star PR guy Acme Andersson, who was attending for his first time EVER (you hermit you) along with partner Devan Cypher, the LA Times hailed it as the “Greatest PSK EVER!” and the Washington Times wrote, “We can all kill ourselves now. Civilization has peaked.” I have not checked for confirmation of these quotes, nor do I intend to, because everything Acme says is sacrosanct fact in my book.