Wait up, shits. James Deen isn't finished with you yet.
Today's installment of POPPORN's increasingly-irrelevant coverage of the AVN Awards features a slightly drunker James Deen than we've seen in the previous videos (though this footage was actually shot a half-hour or so before the other stuff). Watch in awe as Mr. Deen interviews Dana DeArmond, Dave Navarro, Tommy Gunn, an anti-semite and some nerd guy who is simultaneously trying to interview him as well.
It seemed like POPPORN was finally over. We all breathed a collective sigh of relief. We could go back to our honest trades and forget about the degenerate raconteurs invading every nook and crevice of our collective existence since we first happened upon the porn industry. We could learn to live with what we had done to the world while running this award-winning and critically praised porn-themed website. We could move on.
Then James Deen arrived and shot everything to hell.
The AVN Awards Nominations arrived on the internet yesterday, setting both twitter and, I don't know...some other website probably...abuzz with congratulatory tweets, premature acceptance speeches and all of the usual hubbub that surrounds these terribly vital awards. The usual suspects fared well (Jules Jordan, Elegant Angel, Timo), and once again, POPPORN found themselves lucky enough to receive a couple of nods.
Don't worry, we've got no plans to win any of them.
You might not know this, but the porn industry takes itself pretty seriously from time to time. Sure, there's all those movies about gapin' holes and teen first timers, but ultimately, the porn industry wants to be recognized as a legitimate business like any other. To do that, they do what any self-aggrandizing industry does...they hold award ceremonies!
But c'mon, you knew that.
What the fuck? We made another video!
Well, if you follow anyone on twitter who is even remotely involved in the adult industry, you probably know that last night, the nominations for the 2011 AVN Awards were announced. Historically, the nominations have been announced the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, but it seems as tho AVN is getting a little cavalier in their procedures. Nevertheless, once the noms were announced, the twitterverse went gaga and the, "Thank you's" and the "I'm so flattered's" went sailing.
Okay, the title of this video implies that everybody taking part in this thing was hammered. Personally, I wasn't there, so I can't really stand behind that accusation. I mean, I'm pretty sure BUCKTON was hammered for the whole awards show. i can't really say for sure whether or not Alektra and Kaylani are. You'll have to judge for yourself. Unless the two of them show up here at POPPORN and leave a bunch of comments and whatnot, which we all hope they will.
Anyway, as you see, this is the first batch of footage we cobbled together from the hot shit AVN Awards in January. Sure, it's not exactly timely, but who the fuck gives a fuck? Come on. Lots more to come. You wait and see.
Well, that certainly was something. As the final step in our meteoric rise from a handful of goons from Philadelphia who waxed philosophical about porn and poetry, to adult juggernaut of XXX movie making garnering nine AVN nominations and thus attending the 2010 AVN Awards as invited guests rather than pirate news whores...we lost in every category in which we were nominated returning us precisely to the place where we started out. A bunch of losers.
Which really, is aok.
Hmm, a press release went around last week about some fella who impersonated Cliff Huxtable gearing up to win this years Best Non-Sex Role award at the 2010 AVN Awards. Well, we say FUUUUCK that. Thus, we decided to steal that press release and re-edit it to suit our needs. Clearly POPPORN's very own Spock BUCKTON should and will win the award for Best Non-Sex Role having played a truly unique and original character. He acted and looks exactly like himself...so...the press release...
SPOCK BUCKTON IS THE GREATEST NON-SEX PERFORMER IN ADULT HISTORY
You know, it was only seven years ago that I was an unemployed college graduate, smoking tons and tons of weed, and not really knowing anything about porno other than the fact that it usually featured images of people fucking that I could use to masturbate to. Who knew that less than a decade later I'd not only work in the porno business, but actually be somehow connected to a movie that would somehow find itself up for a handful of the porn world's most noteworthy (as far as I know) awards?
Boy, there sure were a lot of big-time porno bigshots hanging out on the red carpet of the AVN awards, huh? Of course, it hardly needs to be said that the greatest stars of them all were BUCKTON (all caps) and drake (all lowercase). But you already knew that.
Whatever it was, we're aware that most of you missed it. And we'll never forgive you, because POPPORN felt really fuckin' lonely while we were out there. But we managed to pull ourselves together and have one fucking hell of a great time anyway, thanks mostly to BUCKTON's extra-special co-host, the all lowercase porn sensation, jessica drake!
Hey, they announced the Oscar nominations today! That means award season is in full-fuckin' effect, even if all the relevant awards have already been given out. We're talking about awards like the Golden Globes, the U.S. Presidency, the AVNs, and of course...the one award that makes all other awards look like a steaming pile of cummed-upon horseshit...THE POPPORN.COM PREMIUM FUCK MAKER AWARD!
Maybe you heard that we covered the 2009 AVN Awards red carpet. You know, the red carpet where all the superstars of sin show up to look glamorous and talk the talk while walking the walk. Maybe what you didn't know tho' was that this very time last year, a few of us were sitting around discussing the idea for this here blog that you are now reading. Yup, we figured hell, we should start our own site and deal out a little hell raising with the best of them.