Hey! We made this movie! That means that you should totally go buy it, regardless of what this review says. Even though the review turns out to be pretty favorable. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "wait, you guys made this movie. Of course you're gonna give it a favorable review!", and you're right. But it's not because we're boastful people. It's because this movie really is freaking great. And we know firsthand, because we were the ones who made it so great. For serious.

Hey, we're not afraid to say that something we made sucks. We're mature enough to admit defeat. We just don't put our names on those particular sucky products. Not that The Delinquents is one of them. That shit's pure fucking pornographical gold. For serious.

Man, I love boasting!

I know it seems slightly out of character for us, but we're presenting a video that wasn't shot last year. Nor was in shot two years ago, or even three. As a matter of fact, the video you're about to watch (or may have already watched) was shot just last freaking week. Weird, huh?

See, we got this email from a guy asking about why we don't have new videos so often any more, so we decided to, y'know, try to make some videos in a more timely fashion. And, as luck would have it, yenna happened to be in our ofice with a porno movie she'd recently watched, called Phone Fucks.

Serendipity. Or something quite like it.

If there's one thing we love around here it's sex toy reviews written by extremely attractive women. Sure, most of us are guys here and thus, the reviews ultimately mean nothing to us in the long run since we can't fuck a vibrator, but just knowing that an attractive, nice gal is sexually confident and happy to use and review adult novelties meant to encourage and enhance orgasms makes us a little tingly inside. So, we were happy to have one of our friends Jacks send us a review for this vibrator. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did. Take it away Jacks...

Our good friend Brian Street Team pointed out to us this morning that the wonderful folks at Cracked.com posted a rather thorough review of our Official Jersey Shore Parody today. As you know, ourmovie is being released next Tuesday, February 16th by Zero Tolerance so you will be able to see what all the fuss has been about. However, there are times where a review must be read so as to galvanize a generation towards a common purpose...a shared belief.

Before we start, you should know that BUCKTON and Kate Hate are neighbors. Knowing that should make the opening of this video slightly more coherent.

But not much.

First of all, this title is not appealing to me. From what it sounds like this is where they send all the teenagers to go and die...the wasteland. But we know that’s not true, it’s where you can see all the teenagers naked with penises in them. If you own or have seen a lot of Diabolic stuff already then you may see some repeats. It’s pretty much a compilation of scenes from past movies. But if you’re horny and want to watch some teenagers then unzip and enjoy.

What’s the best thing to do after you break up with a guy/girl? Find some new one to sleep with. That is pretty much the basis of this movie. Alektra Blue and Tommy Gunn both get dragged out by their friends who are trying to get them to hook up with people so they can get over their exes. Before we actually see them meet up and bang we get a whole lot of other penis and vagina match-ups before hand.

Let's say for a minute, that you're a guy. Let's also assume that you grew up in a relatively normal environment, filled with a reasonable amount of love and care from your elders and developed rather normally into adulthood. It would then be fair to assume that, ignoring any possibly developed fetishes, kinks or general abnormalities in your sexual existence, for all intents and purposes, you like many other individuals enjoy reminiscing about past sexual experiences. Most notably, of course, those experiences that were, "firsts".

Everyone loves that girl next door. In this movie from Adam & Eve we get to see 5 bright eyes young ladies displaying there nice and naughty sides. So do you think you can handle the Young Girls Next Door?

So, I don't know how many of you have tried out the multitude of signature vaginal and/or anal replicas that are offered for sale at our favorite retail site, TLAraw.com, but I gotta say...and I swear, I'm not just saying this because I owe those dudes a favor or two...them shits are fucking great. So great, in fact, that one of them prompted an Ohio resident to drive his car right through an Adult-Mart store so he could grab one of them. And when I say "through an Adult-Mart store", I mean through it. The car crashes through one door, the dude jumps out and grabs his fuck-toy, and then the car busts out another door. Swish.

Well, as you may have read yesterday, we were forced to postpone our next film due to some unforeseen circumstances. That sucks because having to cancel these kinds of things is really a drag on everyone. However, the good news is that it's still going to be shot, just a little later than expected.

The other great news? Well the lovely folks over at XBiz just reviewed our most recent porn endeavor, the 3rd Degree produced TMSleaze and awarded it as XBiz Editor's Choice!

What could become a continuing series, "Stuff I Love" is pretty self-explanatory. After working as long as I have in the jizz biz, I have a handful of favorite products that I am continuously suggesting to customers. I thought I might as well share my knowledge with you guys too!

Up first is Pjur Eros Original Bodyglide. It's like the holy grail of lube. I've never found anything better and my customers agree. Once you start using it you will never go back to your old stuff again! I was introduced to this stuff my first week on the job and I've been hooked ever since.

Bad girls know how to have fun. A truer statement could not be said in my opinion. In this outing the baddest of the bad from Digital Playground come out to play. Stoya, Shay Jordan and Gabriella Fox are joined by Serena Del Rio and Kelly Summer for some bad times. Look for plenty of blindfolds and shackles as these ladies take no prisoners in Bad Girls.

Never let it be said that we don't like dialing it up. Sure, you can be dialed "in" standard-like, but when POPPORN.com gets involved, that shit gets dialed UP! That's why we've started offering weekly Podcasts starring some of your favorite POPPORN folks and now which you can listen to here or on your iTunes and now you can watch our live POPPORN.com Webcasts when we're shooting our NEW THIS WEEK REVIEWS!

You know what is one heck of a surprise? Finding a homeless woman shitting against a wall across from your house. You never expect something like that, but when you see it, well, you're sort of dumbstruck. Sure, you might stare for a second or two causing that bat shit crazy lady to holler, "MAN, THERE'S TOO MANY PEOPLE, CAN'T SHIT PRIVATE NO PLACE!" to which, you might respond, "WOAH THERE, POOPY!" causing somewhat of a de-panted ruckus but you'd never deny that it wasn't a surprise.