We have no idea why, but we're some lucky bastards. How else would you describe that we receive unsolicited emails from intelligent, beautiful women asking if they could contribute to our blog? Case in point, Courtney Page. Sure, you might have heard of her as she did porn for a few years but after retiring, she's whippin' shit up with words! We're thrilled to have her and we certainly hope her residency lasts longer than Faye Reagan's did a couple years back. Is she still alive? Anywhoo, say hello to Ms. Courtney Page!
Don't call them porn stars. They hate that! They prefer cam girls or even cam models. I cant really understand the thinking of this "difference" but most will be insulted if called PORNSTAR.
So, if you haven't yet found yourself fleeing in terror upon accidentally navigating to POPPORN, you've probably noticed that our very own Brian Bangs and Spock BUCKTON recently made a porno parody of the much-beloved buddy comedy, The Hangover. Everyone figured it would be a funny little throwaway that we'd whack off to a couple times, having a few chortling guffaws and chuckles in the interim, before we'd each put the DVD away, never to consider it again. Much like we did with last year's horribly-overrated Revenge of the Nerds Parody.
But, as things tend to happen, we were wrong. Because XCritic, the leading source for adult cinema analysis and criticism, seemed to enjoy the film, awarding it their prestigious and oft-coveted rank of "Xcritic Pick". Indeed, they seemed to think that the movie was totally awesome. This is, as you must know, quite a feat, as Brian Bangs and Spock BUCKTON are anything but awesome people.
The other night, rather than drinking myself to death, I decided to watch a couple documentaries. The first one, called The Bridge, was about suicide jumpers and the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.
The second was a film called After Porn Ends by a fella named Bryce Wagoner that interviews several adult film stars about their life in and out of the porn spotlight. I was curious to see the flick because I've often found myself wondering whatever became of past performers and let me tell ya, if this movie is any indication, they probably aren't doing all that well and you probably shouldn't ever be a porn star.
So how long do you think you could last fucking this beautiful 18 year old girl like this before blowing your load in her tight pussy?
The second scene of this adaptation plays off the home invasion/rape scene in the original movie. Personally, I love this Pornstarslikeitbig.com site and their creativity; this goes to show that once again the creative minds behind the Brazzers network know what they’re doing and can adapt a movie and make it Porn ready.
My favorite Pornstars Madison Ivy, Gia Dimarco and Zoe Voss currently star in “A Clockwork Whore”, which is a great adaptation of the Stanley Kubrick movie. Taking into consideration that the original movie featured a cast that was comprised of all male characters in a dystopian future, this one features tough-talking, ass-eating lesbians. The background is pretty close to what it was in the movie and I love the captions written in bubble letters in the background (“We are proud lesbians and sick of big cocks” written in French). Now, if you ask me, the artsy side of Porn is there and I can appreciate the work put into it; there are great angles and panning with the cameras which adds a high level of cinematography. So, it is actually possible to intellectualize Porno Movies.
Have you watched our new movie, POPPORN's Man vs. Pussy yet? You totally should, and not just because we want your money (although, hey, we certainly wouldn't mind getting any money from anybody). Rather, we want you to watch it because we think it came out really well, and shortly before leaving the office last night, we were happily surprised to find that Xcritic.com apparently liked it too, as they were kind enough to wham a five-star review upon us!
The following quote is from Fleshbot, and it made me feel happy:
"This is one of the funniest things ever produced by the adult industry, it has some of my favorite people in it, and it deserves a place of honor on the shelf of every porn consumer in America."
Okay, sure, we're gloating a bit. Fleshbot happened to review our new film, POPPORN's Man vs. Pussy, and, well..it sure felt like what we'd generally classify as a "glowing review". Read it here. And while we're the sort of folks who tend to gloat and boast more than necessary from time to time, I gotta say...we're generally touched by Fleshbot's kind words, and quite frankly, by their actions. See, Fleshbot's Ottimo Massimo specified in the review that he generally would not consider watching a porn film from start to finish without a fast-forward button at the ready, but in the case of our film, he decided beforehand that because Man vs. Pussy was "such a unique film", he would not skip around, and rather he would dedicate himself to the film's full three-hour brunt. An epic undertaking to be sure, and given the movie's underlying themes of endurance and human self-punishment, rather approrpiate.
To say that Sasha Grey is a bit of an enigma would be an understatement.
Hey! We made this movie! That means that you should totally go buy it, regardless of what this review says. Even though the review turns out to be pretty favorable. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "wait, you guys made this movie. Of course you're gonna give it a favorable review!", and you're right. But it's not because we're boastful people. It's because this movie really is freaking great. And we know firsthand, because we were the ones who made it so great. For serious.
Hey, we're not afraid to say that something we made sucks. We're mature enough to admit defeat. We just don't put our names on those particular sucky products. Not that The Delinquents is one of them. That shit's pure fucking pornographical gold. For serious.
Man, I love boasting!
I know it seems slightly out of character for us, but we're presenting a video that wasn't shot last year. Nor was in shot two years ago, or even three. As a matter of fact, the video you're about to watch (or may have already watched) was shot just last freaking week. Weird, huh?
See, we got this email from a guy asking about why we don't have new videos so often any more, so we decided to, y'know, try to make some videos in a more timely fashion. And, as luck would have it, yenna happened to be in our ofice with a porno movie she'd recently watched, called Phone Fucks.
Serendipity. Or something quite like it.
If there's one thing we love around here it's sex toy reviews written by extremely attractive women. Sure, most of us are guys here and thus, the reviews ultimately mean nothing to us in the long run since we can't fuck a vibrator, but just knowing that an attractive, nice gal is sexually confident and happy to use and review adult novelties meant to encourage and enhance orgasms makes us a little tingly inside. So, we were happy to have one of our friends Jacks send us a review for this vibrator. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did. Take it away Jacks...
Our good friend Brian Street Team pointed out to us this morning that the wonderful folks at Cracked.com posted a rather thorough review of our Official Jersey Shore Parody today. As you know, ourmovie is being released next Tuesday, February 16th by Zero Tolerance so you will be able to see what all the fuss has been about. However, there are times where a review must be read so as to galvanize a generation towards a common purpose...a shared belief.
Before we start, you should know that BUCKTON and Kate Hate are neighbors. Knowing that should make the opening of this video slightly more coherent.
But not much.
First of all, this title is not appealing to me. From what it sounds like this is where they send all the teenagers to go and die...the wasteland. But we know that’s not true, it’s where you can see all the teenagers naked with penises in them. If you own or have seen a lot of Diabolic stuff already then you may see some repeats. It’s pretty much a compilation of scenes from past movies. But if you’re horny and want to watch some teenagers then unzip and enjoy.