It's not every day that you get to review the biggest porn movie of all time. Let's face it, "biggest movies of all time" only get made every three or four years, so when a record-smashing, high-octane, skeleton-fest like this one comes along, we gotta jump on this shit like hot shit on a shit-collector's floor. And that means it's your duty to watch it. Right? Right? Right?

Plus, we conned Stoya into reviewing it with BUCKTON. So that's pretty fuckin' cool, too.

By now, you're all aware of Stoya™'s status as a big-time contract performer with Digital Playground, clearly one of the classiest (if not the apex of class) porno outfits around. They make smut that's so goddamn classy that they don't even need you to watch it, but you should go ahead and watch it anyway. Why? Because it's classy, big-time smut that will make you a better person just by whacking off to it (and because some of it's full of fuck-crazed Pirates, which is second only to ghost fucking, which we haven't seen from them yet (hint, hint)).

You're probably wondering, why all the accolades? Well, we'll admit it. We're plugging the hell out of Digital Playground. Yes, it's because we truly and honestly love the smut they produce (seriously, we group-whacked to Shay Jordan: Video Nasty just this afternoon), but it's also because we're incredibly fucking grateful to the studio for letting Stoya star in our first silent film!

For an exclusive contract girl who shoots a very small amount of scenes per year, every movie is a learning experience. In preparation for the release of my newest movie, I thought I’d share some of the things I learned while making it.

The night before we start on Deeper 11: Stoya, my friend Jess flies in from Philadelphia for her 21st birthday. I don’t drive, so I somehow convince one of our camera guys that it’ll be really fun to take me in his car to pick her up from the airport.

Here's what happens when newspapers automate their Web sites to run press releases.

Sunherald.com, South Mississippi's online newspaper gives readers a story that Hustler TV has signed a worldwide exclusive deal with Digital Playground.

Riley Steele, the hottest new adult star you haven't seen yet, has gotten her breast implants.

In a recent interview with POPPORN.com, our Joey Nickels begged the slender framed Digital Playground contract girl not to go too big and look ridiculous. We haven't seen a picture yet but in a MySpace bulletin she titled. "TIGGO BITTIES!!!," Steel writes, and yes, we quote...

Riley Steele has shot a bunch of upcoming scenes, we just haven't seen any yet.

The brand new Digital Playground contract girl says she's always wanted to be a porn star. "I love to have sex. I love being taped having sex. I love having sex in front of other people." The 20-year-old blonde stunner from San Diego measures a sexy 33A-23-37 but is heading in to "get boobies." (ed.note: *sigh*) We begged her not to go too big and look ridiculous but she said she plans to get a C. Riley, we think you look perfect as is!