We just heard about the Lair, a new "fetish playspace" that'll be debuting at this year's Adult Entertainment Expo! Boy, that sounds like it's gonna be scary and gross, doesn't it? Of course it does, but don't be a pussy! Shit's gonna be off the fuckin' hook (except for any hook-related fetish exhibitions, obviously)!
According to whoever wrote the email I got, the Lair is "the place to be if you have been curious about the BSDM lifestyle", which comes as a shock to most of us, who assumed the best way to learn about kink and fetish was to hide outside Bobbi Starr's house and look in her windows while she electrocutes girls' beaves and stuff like that. Guess we were wrong about that, but whatever!
Each awards season I am amazed by the sheer volume of press releases we receive that proclaim a studios prowess in the adult industry based on the number of nominations they received from this awards show or that awards show. As a company who has, in the past, proudly proclaimed our own sexual potency based on these same nominations, it seems like this kind of grandstanding should ultimately die out once a company gets more in touch with the reality of the situation.
It's hard to care about anyone who participates in a reality show. Given the clear human exploitation and vomit-inducing scenarios cast members are typically tossed into, it seems that one would either need to be completely devoid of any self-awareness whatsoever or be completely ego intoxicated to even humor the possibility of being a willing participant.
It's official. Miles Long is famous.
Long, a veteran of the industry, has been enjoying lots of praise lately. And why shouldn't he? he's got a pretty great list of accomplishments. Why, just in recent history, he's been responsible for hits like Vajazzled (a psycho-sexual thriller, loosely based on the I Know What You Did Last Summer franchise), Phone Fucks (anonymously co-sponsored by Apple's recently departed CEO, Steve Jobs), Busty Office MILFs 2 (a comedy-drama that corrected the inconsistencies not addressed in vol. 1), Upskirts 2 (speaks for itself) and Nylons 7 (which happened to earn a nomination for best gonzo film of the year). He also recently directed The Official Deal or No Deal Parody, which was apparently, produced without a script.
Also, according to some article I read, he's the only person in the industry to own a steadycam. That sounded odd to me, but what do I know?
That's because we are legendary bullshitters (remind us to tell you about the time we posted an article about Lee Stone being dead) and we consider bullshittin' an art form not to be fucked with by lesser men (or women). But when bullshit isn't funny thus unartistic and is instead, just bullshit? Well that's some bullshit.
Case in point, the recent release of Not Airplane XXX: Flight Attendants.
The other day I was thinking about my life goals and what I wanted to accomplish. There are the regular goals that most people have. I would like to get married and have kids one day (by the way, I am now taking applications for men so feel free to send me your credentials). But that also got me thinking about what else I would like to accomplish. Sure people will congratulate me for getting married and knocked up but what else would I like to get a high five for? And then my new life goal came to me. Along with getting married and having kids, I wanna get DP’d.
Pardon me while I become a shill for a moment on behalf of my employer, the AVN Media Network (or AVNMN for short). As some of you may be aware, there is this affair we throw once a year recognizing excellence in what's known here at POPPORN as the "fuck-making" business. That affair being known as the AVN Awards.
Well, there's a whole lot of fuck-making that goes on all year, and since there's a scant few of us at the new, sparkly AVNMN Palace to watch it all, there's a chance we may have missed some of it. That's where you come in.
Well we're pretty much floored over here today in the POPPORN.com offices. Why you ask? Well, AVN.com posted their official review of our upcoming fuck flick, POPPORN - THE GUIDE TO MAKING FUCK and they gave it a super awesome review and a rating of "AAAA 1/2" out of a possible five "A's" which is pretty much as if they gave us this!
A few days back, we reported that AVN.com head honcho, Paul Fishbein had sent out a letter to the adult universe explaining that, former AVN employee Sara Sazzman (who had recently defected to rival publication, Xbiz) had been spreading word around Porn Valley that Xbiz was the better buy for anyone's advertising dollar over AVN. Check it out over here.
As we mentioned in that initial report, AVN and Xbiz have long been the yin and yang to the adult news universe. However, it seems that as more time passes, they're more like Wolverine and Sabretooth...they just don't play very well together.
As you know, for every industry that appears there must be organizations that disseminate news, ideas and issues pertaining to that particular business. The adult industry is no different.