Hey, sportsfans! Buckton's back with more recommendations for your sorry ass, and he's got Yenna with him, so shut up and groove on it! This week's pick is Elegant Angel's recent fuck-bonanza, entitled Sporty Girls, which you can enjoy even if you're a lazy, sport-hating glutton, like many of us.

This week's review is a classy-as-fuck number from New Sensations called Addicted 4. It's got ladies in beautiful evening gowns, tables with mirrors on top of 'em that aren't being used for snorting blow (tres fuckin' classy), and dudes like Tommy Gunn and Mick Blue wearing well-tailored dress shirts and shit like that.

It also has classy babes like Ashlynn Brooke, Jenna Haze, and Sasha Grey (who's sporting a classy mound of vagina hair)!

This movie was so mothershittin' classy, in fact, that we felt we had to de-class it a bit. So we made sure your hosts had broken spines and herpes.

That took the prestige right out of there, didn't it?

Hey Yenna. You totally gotta see this new video we made. It's totally hilarious and everything and you're gonna love it. It totally has nothing to do with your birthday, we swear. It's a video about BUCKTON fist-fighting a lion and then getting jizzed on by a guy dressed as a lion. You're gonna love it!

(This is a surprise, everybody. She thinks she's watching some hilarious hijinks, but it's actually a birthday video. Don't nobody fuckin' spoil it!)

We've been pretty lucky lately. Every movie we've taken the time to review for the past several weeks has been reasonably awesome, which makes our jobs a blast. That means is a double-drag when we come across a bonafide snoozer like Possessed.

Stop right there!

If you ain't watched part one yet, get the fuckin' fuck back there and see what your sorry ass missed. This thing ain't gonna make sense without it!

Of course, truth be told, it probably won't make all that much sense either way. But we got Spock going incognito, MEAT BALL puking, a couple of nice zoobatroggin' titzahs and some of the bitchinest comedy in town.

Ever wonder what the ladies of POPPORN do when they're not doing shirtless porno reviews with Monsieur BUCKTON? We wondered, too. Especially after BUCKTON overheard some plans for a booze-fueled, pill-poppin' all-girl party.

It turns out that these girls spend their leisure time doing exactly what you'd imagine they'd be doing: drinking, smoking weed, lounging in lingerie, watching porno, making out, and occasionally discussing the early works of Werner Herzog (though that particular discussion was far too hardcore for our site. Gapes aplenty...).

Amazing, isn't it? In between our boozed-filled dance parties and drug-riddled sex parties, we scumbangers here at POPPORN still find the time to review a new porno movie. This week, we'll be putting the proverbial screws to Naughty America's My Sister's Hot Friend 12.

Yesterday, our yenna bear was wandering Philadelphia. See, she had to kill some time before she came to the POPPORN.com offices to shoot her next webisode review (in a tutu no, less). Well, yenna texted us from the book store when we suggested that she do two things:

1. Purchase Justine, or the Misfortunes of Virtue by the Marquis De Sade.
2. Pop off to the bathroom and snap a shot for us pinching her nipple.

Needless to say, yenna bear is a team player and that's why we love her.

Oh, also because she's a lot prettier than you...

Do dogs have green cum? Spock thinks so, but Yenna knows the fuggin' truth. What's that have to do with our review of Bullets and Burlesque? Fucked if we know, but it sure makes a good opening line, huh?

We had a great idea. We thought we'd go out to one of the classier local boozin' joints and play a few rounds of kinky quizzo. You know, that bar game where somebody asks inane questions about screwin' and everybody shouts their answers while boozin' up and whatnot?

We bet you were wondering when you were finally gonna get some face time with POPPORN's newest zoob-girl yenna bear. Well, today's the day, folks, and what better way to introduce the young lady and her lovely zoobs than by having her (along with BUCKTON, of couse) review what is easily the scummiest film we're reviewed so far?

Man, sifting thru the hundreds of photos we took last weekend at Philly's very own Faux Pas at National Mechanics has been a chore, but a worthy one. We made some new friends, caught some odd diseases and came out on the other side safe and sound. We'll be posting a video today to show you some of the evening and a final video from this event on Monday.

Next up? We hit Club Risque on May 16th to interview Digital Playground's contract star, Katsuni then on May 20th we visit Kinky Quizzo. I can only imagine what will come of that...