THIS IS POPPORN'S 2000th NODE! CONGRATULATE YOURSELVES! WE DID IT, PEOPLE!

People. Are you bad-ass enough? Probably not. Chances are, you need someone to keep picking at you and encouraging you to be more bad-ass. That's where the fuckin' instigator comes in. Prepare yourselves, dicks!

You know, I'm a purist when it comes to a great many things. I like the old version of 90210. I like the "pre-CJ" Ramones albums better than the "during-CJ" ones (though Censhorshit's a boss fuckin' jam). And I like New Hope, Empire and Jedi way better than Menace, Clones and Sith (though I still enjoy the prequels quite a mothrfuckin' bit). So, with that in mind, I'll tell you right off the bat that I always like The Next Generation a whole fuck-ton better than the original Star Trek series. Some dudes would rather groove on a Tribble than a fuckin' Borged-out emotion chip, but not me, man. Maybe I would've loved the original series if I had ever really given it a chance, but fuck those guys. Shatner's a doofus and that Scottish fuckhead is ugly as those underwear with the pooed-up dickhole I bought off of a guy at that Jane's Addiction show we went to in 2009.

So, for me, Star Trek TNG will always be the groove of choice.

Hello. As you’re probably aware, every now and then, for a whole shit-ton of reasons, artists are censored. Sometimes it’s because their material is deemed too vulgar for a target audience, like back when Robert Mapplethorpe tried to introduce America at large to fisting. Sometimes, work is deemed too socially offensive, like Axl Rose’s “One in a Million” lyrics, or that big-tongue cover of Poison’s “Open Up and Say Aaah” (originally titled “Swallow This”, incidentally). Sometimes, like in the case we bring forth today, it’s simply because certain distributors might opt out of selling a product if certain lines of dialogue were left in.

As you may have guessed, I’m talking about what is most likely POPPORN’s greatest triumph, our first movie, POPPORN: The Guide to Making Fuck.