It's hard to be a real scumbag these days.
With the internet being what it is, scumminess lurks just beyond every click of the mouse giving every casual scum ball scummier credentials than he or she actually deserves. Any dick hole can google "cum-wad jit storm" or "ass-cream milkshake recipes" but it takes a true scumbag to jerk off (to completion) to a woman drinking a blended horse semen and tomato juice smoothie.
Let's assume, shall we, that you have a bail hearing coming up. Unfortunately, what you are going to discover is that "bail" is just a fancy word for money. At that hearing, they are going to insist that you put down some cold hard cash as a guarantee that you will return to court for your scheduled trial. Cash that you probably don't have because, let's face it, you're a scum bag.
I guess it only makes sense, what with porn award season gearing up, to get started proclaiming this person or that person a winner in some other or another category. While people may poke fun at the concept of awarding porn stars, porn directors or porn in general any sort of accolades for their efforts, we prefer to say, "Fuck you" to those people, what the hell have you done?
What the shit? Is awards season already? It seems like it was just yesterday that we were sitting on the quiet beaches of the New Jersey coast, sucking down one Zima after another and thinking that summertime would never end and them WHAM! It's suddenly October and those douchebags at POPPORN are already getting in your face about this year's most prestigious awards and how you should be preparing yourself for them, But don't worry! We're not about to start pissing and moaning about the AVN awards! Not yet, anyway.