Hey fuckaz!

Have you seen the recent New Sensations hit, Ashlynn Goes to College? We saw it, and we thought it was a pretty breathtaking piece of adult cinema (also called "peoplefuckin' movies"). It's got it all - comedy, top-of-the-line fuckin', and a dude who looks a lot like Walter Matthau.

Stop right there!

If you ain't watched part one yet, get the fuckin' fuck back there and see what your sorry ass missed. This thing ain't gonna make sense without it!

Of course, truth be told, it probably won't make all that much sense either way. But we got Spock going incognito, MEAT BALL puking, a couple of nice zoobatroggin' titzahs and some of the bitchinest comedy in town.

Dig this shit, fuckaz! It's none other than the biggest all-lowercase name in the business, jessica drake!

It turns out that jessica didn't read the fine print on the model release she signed for us a little while back, and as such, she's stuck shooting the shit in a room without air conditioning with none other than the two scummiest dudes in Philly (next to Bangs, of course).

Ever wonder what the ladies of POPPORN do when they're not doing shirtless porno reviews with Monsieur BUCKTON? We wondered, too. Especially after BUCKTON overheard some plans for a booze-fueled, pill-poppin' all-girl party.

It turns out that these girls spend their leisure time doing exactly what you'd imagine they'd be doing: drinking, smoking weed, lounging in lingerie, watching porno, making out, and occasionally discussing the early works of Werner Herzog (though that particular discussion was far too hardcore for our site. Gapes aplenty...).

Alright, fuckaz. Here comes the second installment of POPPORN's boozed-up dance party at National Mechanics, and while part one was a spectacle to behold, part two clearly makes part one look like a pile of shit with piss inside it, and maybe some boogs or something on top of it.

Okay. Let's say that Alektra Blue, jessica drake, Kaylani Lei, Courtney Cummz, Ashlynn Brooke and Jack Napier all humbled themselves enough to spend their Saturday night partying with POPPORN's resident scumbags. Can you guess which one of them ended up pissing on the wall?

Amazing, isn't it? In between our boozed-filled dance parties and drug-riddled sex parties, we scumbangers here at POPPORN still find the time to review a new porno movie. This week, we'll be putting the proverbial screws to Naughty America's My Sister's Hot Friend 12.

Okay, we've spent about a week sifting through all the killer footage from last week's once-in-a-lifetime (for now) party weekend, and we're finally ready to start visually assaulting you with our bombastic flurries of cinematic gold.

We're kicking things off with one of those reliable BUCKTON video reviews that you've come to know and love (or hate and mock). Joining Spock to talk about her latest directorial dicksuckin' effort, Face Invaders 3, is none other than Courtney Cummz, one of the most beautiful yet filthiest ladies in the business.

First of all, this one is NOT related to our all-star weekend. But it is the POPPORN debut of Aaralyn Barra, a pretty well-known pornographer in her own right, so who better to guide you through what may be the most vile film we've ever seen than her awesome smutmakin' ass? While we've seen some shit done to shitters in our lives, we ain't never seen shit like this shit done to any shitty shitters like the shit they do in this movie. If your ass ain't guessed yet, we're talking about buttfuckin'. Serious buttfuckin.

Honestly, if you're got a weak stomach...or even if you don't...brace yourself before watching this thing. Get a puke bag handy. Or a lube tube or something.

We fucked up. Yesterday, June 18th was Randy Spears' birthday, and we fucking missed it. We thought we'd try to make it up to porno's awesomest dude by posting a stellar review of his latest directorial effort on our avant-garde blog. But that all went to shit when, frankly, the movie was a little sub-par.