One of the few remaining joys in life that keep me from suicide (besides discovering semi-nude photos of Katy Perry are semi-nude photos of Prince Harry.
As you know, we work in the adult entertainment industry. So it's a very likely occurrence that on any given day, a handful of promotion material will pass through the POPPORN office, informing us about the up-and-coming what-have-you in the world of porno. And today we got a disc full of images from the upcoming Smash Pictures movie, Lesbian Romance.
As I say, this is what happens each day, and while we may stop and rub one out to the images we receive, we're very rarely actually shocked by what we see. But that changed today, because what the fuck is jessica drake doing in a Smash movie?
One of the few remaining joys in life that keep me from suicide (besides discovering a female gymnast that doesn't look like a creepy middle-earth weasel) is coming across semi-nude photos of Katy Perry.
This rivalry is starting to get a little ridiculous, people.
When POPPORN launched to critical accolades several years ago, we made it pretty clear that Belladonna and Stoya were two of our very favorite women in the entire adult industry (if not in the world as a whole). Naturally, choosing a favorite between the two would be an exercise in futility. How could you choose between a living legend and the greatest new starlet we'd ever seen? We couldn't, and luckily, we never had to.
But then things changed.
At this point, it's been somewhere around ten years since we first announced that Brian Bangs and Spock BUCKTON would be helming a parody of the popular 2009 comedy, The Hangover. Throughout that time, we've bounced back and forth from greenlit to cancelled, from exuberantly excited to dismally fatigued, from caring to not giving a shit and then back again.
But it's all happening now! And since a minor tidbit of inconsequential news about the mainstream sequel happened to land on the internet today, we'd like to present an all-new video clip, which happens to show you every major plot point (including the ending)!
Earlier today the POPPORN offices were served with legal documents that, for now, effectively shutter our as yet unnamed talent agency. Designed to seduce and lure women into the lucrative world of pornography with promises of mega-global-stardom (stardom that would eventually lead to mainstream work because Hollywood, "digs pussy") our agency was on its way to signing its very first performer, a young woman named Lamburt Monroe, before being served with a cease and desist.
Man, Kristina Rose sure loves to fuckin' beef! I had thought Christian XXX was porn's number one beefer, but at this point I think it's hard to imagine anyone other than Ms. Rose holding that top spot. Hey, girl's got strong opinions and apparently likes throwin' down. Fuck you gonna do? Haters gonna drink that Haterade either way, dawg.
In a recent post on Kristina's tumblr, the queen supreme of tellin' people where the fuck they can shove it takes aim at one of porno's biggest stars. Although she doesn't mention her by name, she comes pretty close by referring to her as "Tori White". I think we can all pretty safely agree that she's referring to up-and-coming starlet Jennifer White, right? Either that or Tori Black, I guess.
Trending pornstar-of-the-moment James Deen has recorded a public service announcement that encourages those people who watch porn not to attempt sexual congress in their own lives without a prophylactic. Specifically, a condom.
Given my slowly simmering distaste for my country coupled with a growing boredom of explicit sexuality, I've found that the summer Olympics have hit at a very appropriate time for me. They've provided me ample time to examine more chaste forms of beauty from exotic lands.
Rarely when researching articles do I ever get the chance to see and read about good news, between the bath salt junkies in fits of cannibalism and the cheating spouses, teachers molesting students, celebrities tweeting their naked pics and students protesting, workers protesting, and people generally on a whole being dissatisfied with the state of the world, it’s actually nice to come across some feel good news. I’m all for shinning a bit of light on the masses in good fashion like Umi Says.
In this amazing perversion that is life and the glorious ways technology provides so that we can document our own self-centered exploration of what, "just feels good", today we're happy to report that all is well in the universe of beautiful women reading left-of-center literature while just off camera, her female genitalia is stimulated by a man-made device designed for providing relief to sore muscles or, more specifically, bringing on self-stimulated orgasms.
Let's assume, shall we, that you have a bail hearing coming up. Unfortunately, what you are going to discover is that "bail" is just a fancy word for money. At that hearing, they are going to insist that you put down some cold hard cash as a guarantee that you will return to court for your scheduled trial. Cash that you probably don't have because, let's face it, you're a scum bag.
So, sure. After last Friday's Dale Dabone video, it's hard to think that any man on Earth (let alone any man in porn) could be more enthralling. But, just one moment, would you please consider Nick Manning? Sure, it's easy to think of him as that long-haired dude who yells stuff like "droppin' loads" and causes masses of douchebags to guffaw into their morning slop while tuning into the Howard Stern program. But there's much more to the man. There's a story of a life out of balance. There's a story of heaven, hell, despair and redemption. There's the story of the fiercest loads ever dropped into humanity's collective mouths and the brimstone-laced impetus behind them. There's love, hate, life, death and all things in between.
All of this, of course, is being documented in the upcoming film Hung, Hard and High, which documents the oft-tumultuous relationship between a man like Manning and his lord Jesus Christ, as he walks his way through the porn industry as as it's resident shepherd, saving those most in need.
Sometimes, as humans, we like to hear ourselves talk. Sometimes, other humans like hearing themselves talk even more. It's a law of diminishing returns.
Ultimately, there is only Dale DaBone.
The key to any great blog is outsourcing. You spend a couple of years building up your site with original content, humorous quips and anecdotes, you sell some ads so that you can justify the blogs existence (and your time wasted on publishing writing that no one really wants to read) and then finally, after you've established your name you switch the lever to "lazy" and begin outsourcing content overseas.