A few days back, right before she headed off to jail for tax avoision (we don't say "evasion", we say "avoision"), Janine appeared on the Howard Stern show, calling in for one last word before she became the hottest prison chick since Vera Drake. Since Stern is basically unfunny, uninteresting and just plain unbearable to sit through, we missed it, but we found some internet shits that told us what she said, and get this: Janine's in love with a transsexual! Sweet shit!

Perhaps you're familiar with Vaniity? "She's the most beautiful Latino woman," Janine said of Vaniity, which sparked the ever-clever Howard to insist that Vaniity's a dude, which prompted Janine to insist that she's a woman, and back and forth and back and forth...enough.

Vaniity's also got two i's in her name, so there's no way you could confuser her with the other, "all-girl" Vanity - the one who had a thing with Nikki Sixx and co-starred in Action Jackson. Hey - that's two Crue references in the same node. Do we get bonus points for that?

Eventually, Janine told the king of all media that someone like Vaniity is the best of both worlds for someone who loves girls (as is evident by her almost-exclusively-until-recently all-girl career) and cocks (as is evident by watching her nail Vince Neil). Howard remarked that trannies often don't like having their nuts and bolts touched, but Janine insisted that she sucks the fuck out of that thing, which we just love to hear. Take that, you skinny fuckin' nerd!

Anyhow, as you may or may not recall, when the news broke that Janine was headed off to the joint, she told everyone that she had some forthcoming movies that contained "the most shocking scenes of her career". It was originally thought that she'd be doing some scenes with Rocco (and therefore also with a toilet bowl or something), but now speculation's pretty high that we'll be seeing Janine in a few new girl-on-ladyboy scenes, which would honestly be quite a sight to see.

Granted, we'd rather see her do a threeway with Mick Mars and Tommy Lee, but...

PIPE DREAMS

JANINE & VINCE NEIL: HARDCORE & UNCENSORED