THE INTIMATE BASICS: LILA BULLET

Yawn. This "adult novelty product" is clearly not targeted to my demographic. With its bland packaging and "Dr. Laura Berman" endorsement this purple bullet seems best suited for a conservative suburban couple with sex issues. This is the most basic of basics, yet more evolved from its silver ancestors, coated in a pleasing soft matte plastic. That's all I liked about it. It runs at 2 speeds...fast and faster. What happened to giving a girl a chance to warm up with some small talk or some whiskey? A sliding control would have been a better addition. Also, its waterproof. Wee. Overall, this is a nice entry-level toy for newbies and the sexually repressed eager to get theirs.

This gets 1 star out of 4.

Lick it.

LuLu would like to reiterate that this is still the gold standard, ladies...

IMPULSE: JACK RABBIT