Hope the weather’s nice where you’re at. It’s pouring rain here in Meat Ball’s neighborhood. It makes it tough to go out and pick up a hot piece a’ butt for Meat Ball to groove his wang into, you know? I mean, I sure as shit love getting hookers, make no mistake, but you don’t see many hookers out hustlin’ in the pouring rain. Days like this, a fella like Meat Ball likes to order some hot Italian sausage with provolone, relax in his easy chair, lube up his wang and indulge in two of his favorite pastimes: comic books and porno movies. Imagine Meat Ball’s surprise when he found a great new movie that combined Meat Ball’s greatest loves. That’s right, folks, I’m talking about X-Girls.

A lot of comic nerds feel that Bryan Singer’s X-Men films are the apex of the genre; a sophisticated yet extravagant action/adventure series with a deep emotional core. Thing is, when compared to Private’s new blockbuster, X-Girls, Singer’s films just can’t compete. Meat Ball’s gonna break it down, one piece at a time :

• Singer’s films feature Wolverine, played by Hugh Jackman. He smokes cigars and beats people up. X-Girls features Detrack Girl, played by Priva. She gets fucked. A lot. In the ass!
  X-Men: 0, X-Girls: 1
• Singer’s X-Men films feature state-of-the-art special effects. Cyclops’ eye blasts, Storm’s crazy weather powers, Magneto’s…um…magnets. X-Girls, on the other hand, features a lot of hot chicks getting fucked. In the ass!
  X-Men: 0, X-Girls: 2
• X-Men is faithful to the comic book and packed with cameos by fringe characters, which immensely pleases most comic book fans. X-Girls, on the other hand, isn’t actually based on any comic book. It’s actually based on the concept that dudes like Meat Ball and Spock Buckton like to watch chicks getting fucked. In the ass!
  X-Men: 0, X-Girls: 3
• X-Men has not only a stunning lack of ass-fuckery, but a complete lack of onscreen sex altogether, if you can believe it! X-Girls is packed with hot chicks getting their pussies pounded ‘till they’re swollen. If that ain’t enough, just about every one of ‘em also gets fucked…you guessed it…in the ass! To be fair, I haven’t watched the bonus footage on any of the X-Men movies. It’s entirely possible that there are deleted scenes featuring Wolverine fucking somebody up the ass, but I doubt it.
  X-Men: 0, X-Girls: 4
• X-Men doesn’t have one fucking scene where anybody drinks cum! What the fuck?
  X-Men: 0, X-Girls: 5

So, it’s pretty clear, right? I love the X-Men comics and movies, and I mean I really love them, but you really can’t jack off to ‘em. I popped X-Girls in the old DVD player and nearly broke the old meat wrist, I was jacking it so fucking hard to this one. The highlight is definitely Priva’s hot DP action towards the end of the film. I don’t know if I’ve come across anything hotter all year than watching that sexy superslut take a stiff Euro-wang up each of her holes. They say that there’s a Wolverine spinoff in the works. Who knows? Maybe it will be full of cum-chugging and ass-fucking. For now, though, stick with X-Girls.

Looks like the rain is settling down, so I’m gonna smoke some weed, call up Spock B., and hit the streets to see if Meat Ball can’t find some toothless ho’ to give him some inexpensive pleasure. Until next time, fuckaz…MEEEEEEEEAAAAAT BAAAAAAAAAALLLL!