In Ottawa, Ontario (that's in Canada, dummy), a man broke into a sleeping woman's home, pulled down his pants, sat down at her computer and watched a porn film. When the woman awoke, the man fled so it was obviously not a couples film. He is still at large. No, it was not Spock, he hates Canada. . .
Also in Canada, the fundamentalist Christian group the Canada Family Action Coalition has somehow convinced the Canadian conservative government to pass a bill eliminating ANY tax breaks for ANY Canadian made film with ANY sex, violence or homosexuality (forget porn, it never got tax breaks). As the Canadian film industry needs all the help it can get, this bill could effectively kill it. The bill is before the Canadian senate and Canadian filmmakers, including Sarah Polley and David Cronenberg, who would be hard-pressed to make a film without any sex or violence, are vigorously protesting. . . .Meanwhile, back in sexy Philadelphia, twin brothers Teyon and Keyon, who are also Internet gay porn stars have been arrested for breaking and entering, believed to have committed dozens of burglaries. Now those are two guys who could enjoy prison. As for their porn careers, "They are incredibly good-looking, and being identical twins, it's a novelty," TLAvideo.com's Editorial Director Erik Schut told the Philadelphia Daily News (+) …. And speaking of gay porn, down in stupid Florida, a woman was sued by her homeowners association for leasing out her home to a gay porn Web site. She lost. Always check with your landlord or condo board.
(+) ed.note: These boys actually knocked off MY liquor store's ATM at 9th and Washington in the lovely Italian Market section of South Philadelphia and I'm pissed. However, I was thinking that it would be really funny if they liked to rob stores naked and since they were horny all the time (you know how porn stars are), and naked, they couldn't get through a job without stopping for a few minutes to blow each other (yes, I know, that's incest) but you know, it would be like,
"Here, lift this ATM cash box real...mmmmmmm....*slobber*....mmmmm..."
"ALRIGHT THIS IS THE POLICE!"
Well, Oh Canada...
CRASH (It's not porn, but it's NC-17 and the sex in this movie is outrageous!)
CANADIAN BACON (The US declares war on Canada? Yes, please!)