So...um...can you rape a doll? Like, does it count as rape, since the things aren't living, or is it just vandalism to leave your cum all over someone else's love dolls? We're not quite sure, but the coppers are gonna have to figure it out, because an Australian man (sorry - this shit just always happens in Australia, apparently) has been breaking into sex shops, fucking the shit out of love dolls and then dumping them in a nearby alley (full of cum, of course).
So far, this bandit has pillaged three sex shops, but as he has not yet been apprehended, we can only assume he's going back for more. Shop owners are concerned, to say the least. "It's totally bizarre. It's a real concern that someone like that is out on the street," a Queensland smut owner said.
But wait...it gets better. Whoever this fiend is, he's a very particular psuedo-rapist. He's only after the "Jungle Jane" doll. Which implies that either the guy's got some significant issues distinguishing fantasy from reality, or that doll is really, really fucking hot.
We're betting on the latter. Come on. Jungle Jane? I've got a boner just hearing that name.
AREA 51 LOVE DOLL (much hotter than jungle jane, we swear)