MEAT BALL is an independently wealthy philanthropist who enjoys gluttony, featherweight boxing, crime, terror (the political kind) and that one really bomb-ass ABBA song ("Mamma Mia"). His favorite pastimes include candlepin bowling, terror (the psychological kind) and welterweight boxing. His hang ups include teeth and football. He has big plans for a 2016 presidential bid, and will start campaigning in late 2013, assuming he can win the support of nationally-renowned pundit, Hammy Sparkle. At the moment, MEAT BALL shares a one-bedroom efficiency in South Philadelphia with his colleague, Spock BUCKTON. According to the latest estimate by the M. GLUNZ polling group, MEAT BALL is the father of 34 illegitimate children, all of which he supports financially and one day hopes to employ as roadies for his up-and-coming rock group, MEAT BALL and THE SHITS.

MEAT BALL died in early 2011, but can still be contacted as a ghost (for ghastly enterprises or general harm) via twitter.

MEAT BALL'S favorite actress is Barbara Hershey.