MEAT BALL is an independently wealthy philanthropist who enjoys pornography. His favorite pastimes include conducting financial transactions with methamphetemine dealers and prostitutes. His hang ups include teeth (on prostitutes), sympathetic feelings for Johnny Cash and football. He has big plans for a 2012 presidential bid, and will start campaigning in late 2011, if all goes well. At the moment, MEAT BALL shares a one-bedroom efficiency in South Philadelphia with his colleague, Spock BUCKTON. According to the latest estimate by the M. GLUNZ polling group, MEAT BALL is the father of 34 illegitimate children, all of which he supports financially and one day hopes to employ as roadies for his up-and-coming rock group, MEAT BALL and THE SHITS.

MEAT BALL'S favorite actress is Barbara Hershey.