Before we begin - we should note that this story has nothing to do with a bombing at McDonald's as the photo may suggest. We just figured that if we saw a shot of Ronald McDonald holding a bomb, we'd be idiots not to use it.

A couple is suing McDonald's to the tune of 3 million bucks because nude pictures of the lady (found on the dude in question's cell phone) have ended up on the internet. These fuckaz are officially the dumbest shits I've ever heard of in my life.

Dig this shit: Philip Sherman if Fayetteville, Arkansas apparently took some racy nude shots of his no-doubt smoking hot wife on his cell (we can only assume he was looking for a latter-day David Lynch-style grainy-video asthetic quality for the shots when he opted to use his camera phone instead of a regular camera). After snapping a few quality boudoir tapestries, we can only assume the couple engaged in several rounds of quality lovemaking before heading to the nearest golden arches for a post-coital double-quarter-pounder (or perhaps McGriddle).

Sherman reportedly left his phone behind, and having realized his dreaded mistake, made arrangements with the staff of McDon's to keep the treasured cellular phone safe until he was able to come back and retrieve it. We imagine the phone call went something like this:

Sherman: Is this the manager? The manager of McDonalds?
Manager: Yes, sir. How can I help you?
Sherman: Listen, McManager. I left my fucking phone there. Find it and fucking guard it.
Manager: That shouldn't be a McProblem sir. What does it look like?
Sherman: It's a black Nokia. One of those flip-phones. The wallpaper is a spread eagle shot of my wife.
Manager: Very Mcgood, Mcsir.
Sherman: I'll be there sometime in the next few weeks. In the meantime, don't show anybody the pictures on my phone. They're of my nude wife. Very hush-hush, if you know what I mean.
Manager: Say no McMore, sir. Here at McDonalds, our goal is to guard the customer's most valued personal secrets, no matter how clandestine they may be. That, and securing the timely delivery of limited-time treasures, such as the Shamrock Shake and the McRib.
Sherman: Good, because these shots are graphic, you know? Beave-town. Lots of facials, too. Also, can you please fix me one of those McRibs? I'll be in to get it in a few weeks or so.
Manager: AbsoMcLutely, sir.
Sherman: Excellent. Sherman OUT!

(ed. note - While we're quite aware that the McRib has been retired, we felt it necessary to take some creative license and include it in our dramatization. Besides, it's probably only retired in the same sense that Jay-Z "retires" every few years, until a new album is ready for sale.)

Moving on, as you can probably guess, someone at the award-winning eatery must not have gotten the message, because the nude shots in question somehow ended up on the world wide web, where anyone in the world can whack off to them. Frankly, we would have expected better from the staff of McDonalds.

Now that the damage has been done, the Shermans are taking the manager, the franchise owner and the McDonald's corporation itself (because you know a crime of this magnitude had to have been authorized by the board of directors) to court, claiming that because of this terrible act of nude-postery, they have suffered emotional distress, suffered embarrassment and had their reputations severely damaged. All of which, they claim, is worth a cool three million dollars.

That may seem like a ridiculous amount of money to demand in exchange for the restaurant's reasonable response to the couples idiotic act of exhibitionism, but keep in mind that they also had to move to a new house. Which must have cost three million.

Like I said. Dumb shits.

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