FUCK ME, DUMMY

A 37 year-old German man has been arrested for breaking into a department store and indulging in an orgy with the mannequins inside. He was discovered the next morning while cuddling with his inanimate conquests.

The gentleman's being charged with burglary and criminal damage after he admitted to screwing the plastic ladies, which is understandable from a legal standpoint because he did break into the place and those mannequins weren't his to fuck. This is, aside from the legal ramifications, is there really anything that wrong with fucking a mannequin?

I mean, fuck, man. I dunno about you, but I've put my ween in more than my share of non-living sex-holes. Whether you're talking about a Fleshlight or that dead chick BUCKTON likes to screw (oh shit, I went there!), we've all sometimes succumed to the needs of our balls over the norms of society. So if this guy wants to get sweaty and cummy with two or three life-size, well-clothed fakers, what's it to us?

On the other hand, it's not like this dude was just grooving out on an average sex toy or something. I mean, the guy broke in and had an orgy. An orgy. Then he slept over. We gotta assume he was planning to take them out for breakfast the next morning.

Hey, I love Mannequin as much as the next guy, but fuck...

(Can believe that Mannequin is out of print? Yeah, I can too.)


THE VIRTUAL GIRL


SEX MANNEQUIN