Working the week before Halloween at an adult store is probably one of the worst things you could possibly do. Rather than the normal clientele (a 10:1 normal quiet dude to creep ratio), the shop becomes overrun with uncreative skanks shopping for "sexy" Halloween costumes. Naughty Nurse, French Maid, Slutty Bumblebee, Mad (Whore) Hatter, Bikini-Wearing Cowgirl. But the thing is, the girls who come into the store aren't exactly shopping, they are just playing dress up. They ask to try on a million costumes when there is already a line 10 deep for our single dressing room, they leave the dressing room a mess, I catch them tearing apart sealed packages (which they deny doing), and then they leave without buying anything.

It's not that I'm against girls dressing up kinda slutty on Halloween (I've done it before ad I'm about to do it again), but here's the thing... be a little creative with it! A short skirt does not a costume make!

Naughty Nurse - Boring
Playboy Bunny - Boring
"Referee" Wearing a Bikini - Boring
Gangster In a Tight Dress - Boring
Whorish Alice in Wonderland - Boring
What Alice in Wonderland Would Look Like If She WERE a Crackwhore - COSTUME GOLD!

But who knows, maybe I'm just a little bitter from having to clean up from these girl's messes and not ONCE being pulled into the dressing room for some hot porn-store-clerk-on-"sexy cat" action.

I was going to tell you some funny tales about my past few weeks at the shop, but I still have a ton of work to do to finish MY halloween costume, so fuck it. Here are some of pictures of me wearing a a mixture of slutty and not so slutty, costumes. I think that should even out my lack of wordage.

Here is my costume from the last time I dressed up for Halloween in 2006. I dubbed it "Gryffinwhore" and ended up wearing it to the midnight showing of the last movie and everyone just sort of stared at me like I was crazy.

In the little bit of downtime I had between dealing with customers at work this week I was able to try on a few of our uninspired costumes.

And look, here is me wearing some funny wigs I got for $5 a piece at the best costume shop ever. The blonde one is for my boyfriend, but I have to give it a good trim before we go out tonight. He is going as Brock Samson from Venture Bros.

And here I am modeling another part of his costume!

And here is a sneak peek at some of my costume... Brock Samson's quasi-love interest, Molotov Cocktease. I still have to sew some of the accessories, like her knife-holster and heart-shaped eyepatch, so stay tuned for pictures of the finished outfit sometime next week!

And here is the piece de resistance, the one picture that should totally make up for the lack of funny/creepy stories in this dispatch. When I ordered my catsuit online, the description stated that it had a full length front zipper. What it DIDN'T say was that it had a 2-way zipper that went from the front of my neck, around by crotch, and to the top of my ass!

SCORE!

HALLOWEEN

CAMP CUDDLY PINES POWER TOOL MASSACRE