Boy. Porn's sure come a long way since the 90's huh? Case in point: Vampirass. This "classic" smut film from 1992 (or 1993, we're not sure) is as weak on story as it is on sex. For one thing, there's no fuckin' vampires. What the shit? Maybe spending so much time with proper feature porn like Roller Dollz and Pirates 2 has made us expect a little bit too much. But Christ, the least they could do is cast a one or two girls that are at least somewhat pretty.

Whatever. Don't waste time reading our complaints. Better to waste time watching our complaints, because they're coming to you courtesy of Whisky!

And yes, we know that Whisky was in Friday's movie. So the fuck what? Everybody loved her, so we're doing the old two in a row and anybody who doesn't like it can fuck the fuck off. You know who you are. Also, this thing was shot before the Red Room review from Friday, so we don't wanna hear any guff from anybody about Whisky getting introduced as "brand new". It's a technicality. Christ!

Anyway, enjoy the review and please be sure to groove out on this piece of shit from the era of not-yead-dead-but-certainly-dying Cobain.

VAMPIRASS