Hey ladies, and gays, there's allegedly a Josh Hartnett Sex Tape floating around. The bad news is it's not him plowing ex-girlfriend Scarlet Johansson.

London's Daily Mirror reported that Hartnett and a girl were caught totally doing it the library of his London Hotel, the SoHo. "Josh and the girl were getting pretty hot and heavy," the Daily Mirror quotes a source. "Their every spit and cough was recorded and cringing hotel workers saw all of Josh's X-rated moves." OK, spitting can be sexy, but if their every cough was recorded that's a little bit of a boner-killer.

Surprise! Red Light District has offered $500,000 for the rights to distribute the sex tape of Hartnett, of "Virgin Suicides," and "Sin City." No word from Vivid Celeb on what if anything it's willing to pony up.

We'd pay to see Josh Hartnett bang some girl too, dood's hot!

We're now going to watch some celeb porn on-demand to return us to heterosexuality...

SCREECHED

1 NIGHT IN CHINA

WARNING: - Upon review, both of these titles could make you even more gay...which is probably a good thing...