Yesterday marked the end of my second week hawking dildos and DVDs. I'm still not used to the hours and I feel wiped out (6pm-2am plus a day job) so my mind isn't as sharp as it normally is...Since pictures are worth a thousand words and I'm too tired/lazy to write about all the weirdness I've encountered the past week or so, I give you "Dispatches from the Porno Store (In Photo Form)"

We often order "Mystery Cases" full of random compilations from one of our distributors. Since they are "Mystery Cases" you never really know what's going to be inside...like this. Needless to say, after discovering this gem behind a stack of "Horny & Hairy" I wasn't really in the mood for hamburgers.

"Looks and feels better than a real pussy!" Really? I hope not, for the sake of my own vagina...

Of all the names in the world to go by, she chose BABY ANUS. My mind = blown.

The only DVD in our store without a security case. If a customer opens it, trying to steal the disc, they are greeted by this little message left by my coworker.

Sadly, the deaf guy didn't call back this week looking for Teen Booty Stalkers, at least not on my shift, but I did have a few other oddball customers.

A customer came up holding two movies in his hands, Jailbait #4 and Jailbait #5 and asked my manager "So, which of these came out first?"

Another guy walked into the store with an I.V. needle and tube hanging off his arm. Sadly, no picture.

And again with the bestiality!!!! A white bread American dude asked me where he could find some "animal movies" in the store. To which I replied, "Dude, that's illegal" and went back to rearranging the lube display. Fifteen minutes later when he came to the counter with his rentals he said "So, animal moves are illegal, huh? Like fisting and stuff?" I explained to him while fisting stuff is sort of on a county-by-county basis, bestiality is a no-no throughout the country. He sort of frowned and replied "Oh, I guess all the stuff on my computer at home is illegal then."

Yep buddy, I guess so.

As a little added bonus, I'm going to keep track of the two top renting titles at the shop...

LITTLE WHITE CHICKS, HUGE BLACK MONSTER DICKS 5

CAROLINA JONES AND THE BROKEN COVENANT