WORLDWIDE PUSSY-TASTER EVAN SEINFELD LAUNCHES HIS OWN SITE

Wed, 08/13/2008 - 9:25am — Brian Bangs

Who said Evan Seinfeld wasn't a sweetheart?

Seinfeld aka Spyder Jonez is, of course, married to Tera Patrick but is now fucking lots of chicks for his new site RockStarPimp.com. Seriously? This is the best name we could think of Evan? Sheesh.

But wait, does this mean Camelot is over? Are Tera and Mrs. Patrick breaking up? Fear not, gentle reader, the site makes it clear that Tera is his number one gal, or in his words, she "is the prettiest face to ever be spattered with one of Spyder's massive loads." And this isn't coming from a man who's only sampled a few pussies, no, Spyder's "been around the world and has tasted all the flavors of pussy this life has to offer," but assures his fans that "Tera brings the perfect pussy."

The Biohazard frontman, "Oz" actor and VH1 reality star can also be seen pounding the less-perfect-pussies of Teagan Presley, Alexis Love and Rebecca Linares, among other babes on his brand-new-site.

SMOKIN' HOT BLONDES

SHOCKING COCKS

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Comments

Wed, 08/13/2008 - 11:34am — Josie Jacobs

Well....

With a name like "Spyder Jonez", you shouldn't have been expecting anything better.

<3 Josie Jacobs

Wed, 08/13/2008 - 1:17pm — Dard (not verified)

Nice marketing campaign,

Nice marketing campaign, Seinfeld. The fact that I'm not clicking on the link to RockStarPimp should tell you all you need to know.

Wed, 08/13/2008 - 1:27pm — Anonymous (not verified)

I'm sorry but that show on

I'm sorry but that show on VH1 with him and that fag from Skid Row was classic...no matter how lame you think he is, he's the guy from Biohazzard and that's badass.

Wed, 08/13/2008 - 2:58pm — Dard (not verified)

You better be sorry

Wow, a rap-metal fan praising a reality show on VH1. Nice. Can't wait for your defense of The Two Coreys.

Thu, 08/14/2008 - 11:48am — Spock BUCKTON

I guess it is pretty badass

to be in Biohazzard... if by "badass" you mean: it took the growl-rap prowess of Onyx to make their music even slightly interesting - and if by "slightly interesting" I mean: so laughably horrible that even the image of Onyx triggers memories of me attempting (and failing) to finger girls at my 11th grade spring dance - and if by "attempting (and failing)" I mean: not even coming close to going to the dance, sitting at home listening to the Meatmen, Lemonheads and Jane's Addiction while jerking off to Penthouses from 1984... and playing tons of Turok.

Biohazzard sucks ass, Anonymous so EAT MY FUCK!

Thu, 08/14/2008 - 2:56pm — Rick Stanko

i think

that what Anonymous meant was that because he was in Biohazard, he probably makes more money than you and since the value of a human being is in direct correlation with how much money said human makes, that makes this Seinfeld cat better than all of you.
I'm pretty sure that even a huge loser like Anonymous doesn't like Biohazard's music. No one likes Biohazard's music, it's science fact.
-stank

Fri, 03/25/2011 - 7:17am — Anonymous (not verified)

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