A newsstand changes its policies and prisoners suffer. In England, inmates will no longer be able to get softcore porn mags in their cells because retailer W.H. Smith has stopped stocking them. Previously, if mags passed the W.H. Smith test, they were allowed behind bars. Prisoners are now lobbying to have the W.H. Smith test replaced by the Spock Buckton test.

Also in England, some 40,000 porn DVDs, weighing nearly two tons - talk about two tons of fun - were confiscated across Westminster, reports 24dash.com, by licensing inspectors. It's all part of a crackdown on sleaze in Soho.

John Cameron Mitchell's "Shortbus" has been pulled from the library in Bloomington, Ind., because a library patron called it pornographic. "I think that's great," said Bill Swearingen, who complained about the film. "I'm not a prude but it really was soft porn and to me I don't see why it should be in the library." Maybe because it makes a point about sexuality, Ah, forget it, it's Indiana.

An Australian man found guilty of owning kiddie porn, used as a defense, that his doctor had recommended he watch Internet erotica to help with his erectile dysfunction. He even presented a doctor's note. "He asked others how he would go about accessing pornography," said his lawyer, "and the material was sent to him rather than him accessing it." The court didn't buy it. Topping off the story is the man's name: Cocking.

Also in Australia, a Tasmanian computer tech, who considered himself a beast instead of a geek, has pled guilty to possessing 31,000 illegal images, most involving human female sex acts with dogs, ponies, snakes, tigers and an octopus. An octopus? How many holes did the chick have? The man, shockingly single, was sentenced to a four-month suspended jail term and fined $1500.

WSFA12 in Alabama reports that a Dale County sheriff's deputy has quit after being accused of watching porn on his squad car's computer. We keep warning these cops, don't use the siren when you cum. The ex-deputy is now serving in the Newton police department. That chief says the officer wasn't charged with a crime and is qualified. And he has a very liberal lending poilcy.

And since we don't have any films about Octpus-on-woman sex:

SOPHIA'S MAGICAL DRAGON