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"Gee, the balls sure look different in rugby."
That was what New Zealand TV viewers must have been saying when a game was interrupted by almost four minutes of porn that accidentally migrated over from a pay-per-view channel. Parents were of course outraged by the mistake which allowed innocent eyes to view a portion of "Desperate Black Wives 2." Fans of porn thought it was wrong to show the sequel first.
How mainstream is porn? You remember when we mentioned that Quentin Tarantino is considering Tera Patrick for his remake of Russ Meyer's "Faster, Pussycat,! Kill! Kill!" made its way into the column of 1,000-year-old gossip queen Liz Smith in the New York Post. Of Tera, Smith said "Fans of Playboy and Penthouse will recognize her." Rather than fixate on Tera's sexual appetites (and talents), Smith described her as Montana-born with a degree in biology from the University of Boise (you sure that's not, "Boys?") who worked as an emergency tech nurse. So quaint.
58-year-old Clifton T. Talley was arrested last week in at the Staunton, Va., public library when he was caught viewing child porn on his personal laptop, which at least is better than finding him in the kids' section with a child on his personal lap. Clifton has previously been convicted on federal child pornography charges in 1998, 2001 and 2002, and is a registered sex offender, according to Virginia State Police. Far be it from me to psychoanalyze this guy but if you take your own computer to the library to watch kiddie porn, my sense is you want to get caught.
Don't expect any upcoming POPPORN getaways to the Philippines. Pastors from the Baptist organization Bible Mode recently filed suit against 7 magazines for their pornographic content. The mags include FHM, Maxim and Playboy. What kind of country considers Maxim porn?
And one final comment...TopTenREVIEWS says about 28 percent of visitors to porn Web sites are women and of that number, 17 percent admit to a possible porn addiction. And to them, Spock Buckton says, "Welcome."
Comments
Several things
Liz Smith is actually 1,002 years old and she is the person who criticized Spanish Inquisitor Torquemada for his poor choice of bowling companion and
this movie
is from the Phillipines. It's the hottest shit ever so it can't be all bad and it's a whole lot more pornoesque than fucking Maxim. And Rugby is for pussies who aren't man enough for ping pong.
European FHM has Tits
These mags have tits in europe. That might be why they call them porno. Of course, who the fuck doesn't like tits? Really? Little, round, pink tits. I sure can see what all the fuss is about. Their gonna gitcha! Just when you least expect it, you'll wake up in the middle of the night, hearing noises at the front door, and there they are...TITS are robbing you blind! Hardly a day goes by that I don't hear another story about TITS carjacking some poor fool in harlem. Or those evil TITS always begging for change on the corner. Or how bout the TITS selling crack in the alley? It's a good thing not many people have them, too. It'd be just damn awful if a full half of the world had to wake up every morning to the terrible sight of little, round, pink TITS in the mirror! And don't get me started on the horrors of the Vajayjay... God please just give us a moment's peace from these forsaken genitals and all the pleasure and life they bring! Before you know it, our kids are gonna start growing them too! Then we'll all be doomed! DOOMED I SAY! DOOMED! LITTLE, ROUND, PINK DOOMED!!!