IF RYAN KEELY WANTS TO FUCK YOU, SHE'S DAMN WELL GONNA FUCK YOU! - BY JOEY NICKELS

"It doesn't look like I'm going to take dick on film," says Ryan Keely, kind of breaking our heart a little. The Seattle native, who used to work under the name Maria Menendez is "a bit of a control freak," and would want a contract in order to fuck guys on film, but feels that at 24 she's already too old to get one.

Psst. Ryan, if we had any money at all, we'd totally contract you up!

Luckily, she's happy to bang chicks on camera. "Fuck yeah, I love pussy," Keely says, but asked if she preferred men or women, Keely told POPPORN.com's Joey Nickels, "As long as it tastes good, is pretty and has somewhat of a brain I'll probably put it in my mouth." (ed.note - woah!) The model, whose online home is RyanKeely.com has upcoming shoots for Zero Tolerance and New Sensations to extend her reach in the porn universe. Before getting in front of the camera Keely worked as a Production Assistant for Vivid-Alt, as a reviewer at WantedList.com and at Monarch Models, a short-lived internet modeling agency, gee, short lived? That's surprising. However, while working as a sales clerk at the Hustler store in San Diego, Keely met Haley Paige and the two became fast friends, Paige becoming a guide for Keely into the adult world. "She was a really close friend of mine, God rest her soul." Paige was murdered last August.

Asked about her childhood and what might have guided her to a life in porn, Keely responded, "When I was a kid I had no television, but I had a library card," Keely says. That enabled her to satisfy her fascination with human sexuality. "Our Bodies, Our Selves, I read at 11 and that changed my life," Keely explains. After that she "kind of methodically explored" sexuality. "I decided I was going to have sex with a boy so I went out and I had sex with a boy." Keely's first time with a girl however, sounds like a damn Forum letter. "I invited a girl who was bisexual over and she smoked me out (ed. note - that means marijuana you knuckleheads) and gave me a massage with baby oil and it led to where I thought it would." Awesome, totally sounds like that scene in Caddyshack! Keely says she was a total nerd, again referencing her lack of a television and the hours she spent reading. When she was 16 she shaved her head and dropped out of high school and "had a very rebellious streak."

It sounds like it's still there.

Keely describes herself as a sexual terrorist. "I'm not really subtle. If if I kinda decide that I want to have sex with someone I just say 'Hey you there, I'm going to do terrible things to you.' I generally scare the crap out of most people I have sex with," says Keely adding that her strong approach usually works. We're sure it does. Recently, while traveling Keely says she went out for a drink alone and told the attractive bartender that, "You have to get me pretty liquored up if you want me to make some bad decisions tonight." How'd that work out, we asked. "We broke his bed in three places," said Keely. You don't need to water-board this terrorist to break her though. Keely says she gets super-shy when someone tries her games on her and comes on too strong. "I can take a good fucking but I'm shy except for when I'm the aggressor." she says.

You can watch Ms. Keely right now available on-demand:


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Or you can check our Maria Menendez:


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Comments

I've often wondered that

I've often wondered that myself. How much can a girl make if all she foes is girl girl, I suppose if shes beautiful she can still have a healthy career, but it seems so limiting.

I just looked Ryan up on

I just looked Ryan up on youtube and there is a great video of her in a bikini...she was pushing something, i have no idea what because I was just looking at her body! Thanks for the introduction to this new face!

Man, that is one hot girl.

Man, that is one hot girl. I've never heard of her though, not as MAria Menedez either...I guess I have to go dig some pics up!

Feh. If you don't do dicky

Feh. If you don't do dicky on film, what's the point?

Didn't realize..

until now that Dard was actually my Jewish grandmother. Thanks for the book report Nickels... was having trouble getting to sleep.

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