Believe me, it is worth expecting the PA-NY Chinatown bus to break down while you're on it. After all, it's 20 bucks round-trip for a reason, son. So if the back tire blows around Exit 7 on the NY Turnpike, you can either think about the lack of recent maintenance on the shitty bus or just admit that you should get the fuck away from the flaming bus tires!

As an alternative to boredom, my friend Sophia and I had some fun - in place of calling everyone in NYC to tell them about it. I'm not saying some of the dudes on the bus enjoyed this "photoshoot." Here are the results. All photos are courtesy of Sophia Varoumas.

Grumpy equals hungry...and ho-hos.

Look at this shite...

C'mon, there needed to be cuteness.

There they are!

Yes, like the meanie domme that I am, I am playing in the purty flowers.

I'm gonna make the best of it, baby.