That's right. We've got a new column coming your way called Shitty Advice from Tom Byron. The Lord of Asses is dishing out the truths that no one else has the guts to tell, and he's doing it "Dear Abby" style. Don't say we didn't warn you, even though we didn't and we won't..

You know Tom Byron, right? He's a veteran of the porno screen who's done it all and seen it all. He's a master of buttfucking and he's the world's foremost authority on ass-licking. Tom has lived a charmed fucking life, and he's ready to pass some of his life lessons on to you:

• You wanna know how to charm your way inside your girlfriend's anus? Tom knows.
• You wanna know if rimjobs leave your mouth tasting like poo-poo? Tom knows.
• You wanna know what it takes to become one of POPPORN's "Top 5 Dudes in Porn"? Well, Tom fuckin' knows that, too.

Send your questions to bbangs [at] popporn.com and Lord Byron's gonna be on it like a tongue on a puckered bunghole. Get writing, fuckaz.