Did you guys see that Social Network movie? The one about Google Plus or something? I liked it, but I always felt a little disappointed with the ending. There's a scene where that dude from the Backstreet Boys is partying down and he gets busted with a little bag of cocaine, and everybody's acting like it's the end of the motherscratching world or something. Maybe I'm just an addict who doesn't know what's what, because I sort of thought "what's the BFD? Some rich dude's doing blow at a party. B effing D". Right?

So, naturally, when I read about Peter Acworth, the owner of the much-beloved and somewhat terrifying porn megalopolis called, getting charged with coke possession a few days ago, I struggled to see what the big whoop was.

See, maybe some of you people out there don't know this. Because (though I hesitate to make this assumption) maybe, just maybe, there's a bunch of you guys out there who just don't know how to fuckin' party. But when people like me and everyone else I know wanna really cut loose and get down, we snort some shit up our fuckin' noses. It's just what we do. We don't wake up in the morning and blast a rail, nor do we suck that shit up our pipes every night of the week, but when we want to party, yeah, we get fuckin' high, bro. And we're guessing that Mr. Acworth does the same. What of it? It not like it means he's an out of control drug addict or anything (unless he is, we really don't know).

I'm just saying that just because someone who makes a living sexually torturing all manner of people shouldn't be vilified for also torturing his own body. Torturing it with awesomeness. The awesomeness of cocaine. Unless you're a kid, in which case you should neither do cocaine, nor be on this site. Get the fuck outta here, kid!

The article I read about this coke charge mentioned that police came to the Kink dungeon after reports of shots fired (most likely while shooting some sort of "bullet fetish" video). The idea of shots being fired is, to me, considerably more shocking than cocaine possession. As is the idea that Peter Acworth also possesses a fucking dungeon. As are the following images:

All very serious. Very shocking. Very troubling. But snorting coke? Who cares? Cocaine is awesome, idiot!

(If you're a kid, please don't read that last sentence.)