The problem with being us, besides the whole fungus nonsense, is that we're flakes. This characteristic leads us to be very sporadic when it comes to things like, "events" and "attendance" and what have you. It's not that we accept invitations knowing that we have no intention of showing up. Rather, we just aren't very good at predicting our future mood. Sure, we might say that we'd love to grab a piece of pizza with you next Tuesday night around 7PM, but it's quite possible that when 6:30PM next Tuesday night comes around we'll be more likely in the mood to hit ourselves with a hammer rather than endure your conversation or that greasy slice of cheese and bread.

Okay, horrible example since we'd never say no to pizza, but you get the idea.

But, since we're such flakes, we felt it necessary to apologize to Jack the Zipper. You see, last Friday night, we were invited to check out a screening of his upcoming porno-flick, Killers while we were in Las Vegas and while we were super excited to check it out, you guessed it...we flaked.

Coming this spring from Pulse, Killers is Jack's latest foray into porno film-making starring super porn bizzo, Skin. Zipper's work is usually pretty exceptional thanks to a cross breed of high velocity sex with cinematic subtext which for us means, gallons and gallons of jit that is the result of fast-paced cinematography that both turns us on and makes us somewhat dizzy. For you, it might mean something different. So be it.

Nevertheless, if Killers is like any of Jack's past films you can be sure that you'll be seeing something very unique when you're whackin' off to it. Apparently there's a sex scene between Nacho Vidal and Josyln James that's bananas. It had to be choreographed beforehand like a kung-fu fight or Nacho might have killed Joslyn during the filming. He's that fucking deadly. He can also launder money and sell you cologne that comes in a vial molded after his own penis which makes him a triple threat.

So yeah, we flaked on what was probably a super fun night in favor of crashing early in our room hopped up on Nightquil. Sorry, Jack!