SMASH PICTURES GOT SUED BY A REALLY BAD BOOK!

Here's the thing, I tried to read that 50 Shades of Grey book. I bought it, sat down with it on several occasions, invested my time and effort and really...honestly, I just couldn't make it through the damn thing. Not only did it appear to be written by a fourteen year-old (and this is coming from a guy who considers Avengers comics literature), but I was, like, five chapters in and nobody had even screwed yet! No sexual innuendo, no bondage, no urethral sounding, not even a suckjob!

So when I heard about the to-be-expected adaptation of the film from Smash Pictures, I was a bit dubious. And now that they're getting sued by Universal for making the movie, I've got to assume that they're feeling slightly dubious about it, too.

“Beginning with the first XXX Adaptation’s opening scene and continuing throughout the next 2½ hours of the film, Smash Pictures copies without reservation from the unique expressive elements of the Fifty Shades trilogy, progressing through the events of Fifty Shades of Grey and into the second book, Fifty Shades Darker, ” read Universal's official statement. The true horror being, naturally, that somebody sat through 2.5 hours of this thing.

Universal's claiming that, rather than your usual parody fare in which source material is paid homage or lampooned, this particular knock-off opts instead to steal directly from the books, making it more of an infringement than a parody. Sure, the line between the two's a little thin, but hey, as we like to say in the business, bitches be triflin'.One only needs to look back to the high profile court case involving Stuart Canturbury's poorly-photographed word-for-word adult adaptation of Jurassic Park (also involving Universal) for proof of that.

As of yet, we haven't heard how Smash plans to respond. But we've learned firsthand that they're not afraid to get litigious when need be. Even, like, if somebody's just makin' a joke or something!

Big-time retailer Adult DVD Empire and novelty company Wuv Moves are also included named in this suit. This other weird-ass lookin' parody seems to have been spared, though. Whew!

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