It seems like every time we turn around these days, we're faced with some young girl (or the occasional old crone) who's positively gushing over the idea of James Deen's cock. While watching James pork his way in and out of the vaginas, mouths and bungholes of porno's biggest stars is usually enough to satiate these masses, there's still the occasional plea for James to come to their house and bone these women.
Naturally, James can't satiate every female sex hole in the world, though we're sure he'd love to try. The logistics of getting to each and every house is just too much for a young somewhat-mainstream sexual icon to bear, not to mention the more-than-decent chances that 50% or more of these women are underage, and James most likely doesn't want to go to jail.
But hey! There's still hope. Because now an artificial (yet strangely lifelike) replica of James Deen's ween is ready and waiting to be crammed into every wet and willing hole in can work it's way into. Heck, dudes can even do themselves up the butt with it, who gives a fuck?!
The brand-new James Deen Signature Cock has been modled directly form Mr. Deen's award-winning penis, and even includes his creepy dick veins. We suggest everyone buys one and sucks on it for a while and then photographs themselves with it crammed inside them and sends it to us. We probably can't publish your photos but we'd love to see them and we'll even show them to James. Who knows, maybe he'll like it and drive over to your house and bang you or something!
In related news, it's sort of funny that Doc Johnson is promoting Mr. Marcus products on their home page.