One of the few remaining joys in life that keep me from suicide (besides discovering a female gymnast that doesn't look like a creepy middle-earth weasel) is coming across semi-nude photos of Katy Perry.

While Perry enjoys a life of leisure thanks to her smokin' hot pop hits, she will forever be a mysterious sex symbol due to her inconsistent sexiness. While there are clearly, thousands of photos of Perry looking delightfully delicious, there are just as many of her looking, well, like some sort of Canadian retard. Plus, she married Russell Brand which means she's got at least 83 points against her on the "neat" scale.

Nevertheless, that duality of sexiness is often the thing that keeps idiots like myself interested. It creates the need to finally discover the image that will once and for all, settle the debate. Sadly, these photos of Katy's big ol' white ass won't quell the debate, but at least they are pictures of Katy Perry's big ol' white ass snapped at some boss ass water park where apparently, they let pop stars show off their big ol' white asses to the public.

God bless America indeed.

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KATY PERVY: THE XXX PARODY

ANAL GIRLS