Let's assume, shall we, that you have a bail hearing coming up. Unfortunately, what you are going to discover is that "bail" is just a fancy word for money. At that hearing, they are going to insist that you put down some cold hard cash as a guarantee that you will return to court for your scheduled trial. Cash that you probably don't have because, let's face it, you're a scum bag.
Shockingly, however, we've got a possible solution.
No, we can't help you avoid your trial and impending imprisonment (nor would we want to!) but what we can offer you is a possible financial assist that could help fund your temporary and short-lived life outside of bars while your court date approaches. You'd be surprised just how long it can take for a case to make it to court so we're going to assume you'd like to, at the very least, spend that time out of prison, yeah?
Well, say hello to the TLA Gives It Away Sweepstakes!
In case you are an idiot (as well as a scum bag) TLA RAW is one of the largest adult entertainment retailers in the mother-jittin' world filled with tons and tons of XXX DVDs, sex toys, photo books, video-on-demand and loads more. They offer super low prices on the very best masturbatory products on the market and they're pretty good lookin' to boot!
Well, this sweepstakes their havin', the TLA Gives It Away, asks folks to send them essays, videos, letters, songs or any other tokens of their affection via email. They'll check out all the submissions and then one lucky winner is going to receive $1000 bucks cash!
A bunch of other selected entries will win cash to spend on the site, but the grand prize is cash money. Sick, right?
Here's a creepy video they made about the sweepstakes: