People assume that because I used to be a music journalist and now work as some kind of amalgamation of urban revitalization/social justice/music/travel/porn journalist that I've met a lot of celebrities. What people don't assume is that some celebrities you meet more than once. Or maybe, like, so many times that it's this unescapable cycle that occurs as often as the season change.
For me, the celebrity I've met the most times is Ron Jeremy. He's just always around, you know? XXXChurch, porn conventions, Miss Juggalette emcee. Wherever you are, there Ron Jeremy is.
The thing I've noticed about Ron is that every time I've met him, he's wearing track pants, a black T-shirt and Crocs. And a lot of the times, he's carrying around a large plastic bag that contains a bottle of booze and several plastic drinking cups. The first time I saw this bag, he was standing in between Miss Juggalette and the runner-up. The winner had mostly won, I think, because her secret talent was masturbating until she squirted all over the front row, and the second place contestant had won over the hearts of the crowd by telling us how some guy had dissed her and LOOK AT HER NOW. I didn't realize it at the time, but Jeremy has his own booze, Ron de Jeremy Rum.
He has two -- a 94 proof chocolate/caramel/vanilla rum, and a more expensive, aged spice rum made in Panama by a 72-year-old distiller named Francisco Frenandez. Most people think they're not bad. In a world of novelty alcohols (Ed Hardy Sangria and Kid Rock's Badass Beer clearly being the pinnacle of star-inspired spirits), Jeremy's is probably ideal for one of those, what do you call it, "beach romps" or "sailing outings" or "tiki orgies" or whatever it is people who drink rum do.
When you make a cocktail with Ron de Jeremy, it's not having some drinks. It's having some "drinxxx" and they have a list of suggestions.
I will be seeing Ron Jeremy again for like the millionth time this weekend at Exxxotica Chicago. I'm really hoping he'll tell the story he told at Exxxotica, NJ about the girl he told to give herself an enema in preparation for the day's scene. Apparently it was her first enema, so he asked her how it went. She said fine, but it tasted terrible. See? I bet Ron du Jeremy tastes better than taking an enema backwards.
Ahywhoo, here's a video of Ron at the Miss Juggalette contest in 2010:
It's ummm...well, it's something.