I gotta tell ya, it seems to me that when an industry collapses in the span of 4 years and faces financial ruin due to free content running rampant on the internet with no governing body trying to (or even interested in trying to) stop it, logic would dictate that creative measures must be taken. These creative measures must be forged not only in one half of the demographic but across all channels.

Thus this article is to you Gay Adult industry. What the fuck is your problem?

Maybe you haven't noticed but while you've been fiddlin' yourselves while Rome's been burning, we breeders have been working diligently trying to create content that appeals to a wide swath of Americana and quite frankly, we're not too proud to beg. For example, we've got people like Steve Hirsch, CEO of Vivid literally begging every no-name/creepy celebrity to have sex on film so we can make a few more bucks for a few months longer.

I mean Christ, just last week we even went as far as to finally get Nadya "Octomom" Suleman to agree to shoot a porn flick. Sure, it's just a solo-masturbation movie but still. We're clearly pulling our weight. This kind of content is the stuff that people buy! It's weird, bizarre and a little scary. Where the fuck are you? Where's the Anderson Cooper masturbation video or Barney Frank pissing scene?

However, fear not. You can still win this one.

A Ryan Gosling/Michael Fassbender boy/boy scene could possibly catapult the adult industry back into the stratosphere of easy money making. The genius behind it is the that fact that not only are there many gay men interested in seeing these two hunks make-out, there are also (in case you didn't realize) lots of straight WOMEN in the world who would love to see this as well. That's cross pollination! In fact, there's probably at least 3000 people in the world who would be willing to pay to see it...on DVD! Seriously.

I understand that this may seem like a tall order. I don't believe Ryan Gosling or Michael Fassbender are gay. But frankly, if you idiots hadn't been sitting back with your boots up each others asses and been out there hitting the pavement for some D-list gay scenes from dead and/or dying Hollywood hacks we wouldn't be here demanding a long ball play from you dicks. But, it's how you played and so we are.

Get on it girls, the industry needs you!

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OCTOMOM HOME ALONE

ERICA LYNNE IS BADD <--I'm sorry, who?