A few days ago, one of our creepier friends went on vacation with a group of his creepy friends. Their goal? Rest, relaxation and sexual intercourse with women. Upon their return, our creepy friend told us of an evening where they met a young lady who was a doctor. A professional if you will.
Being that she was a woman and they were on vacation with sexual intercourse as a specific goal, one of the gents decided to step up and bed this woman down. The following is a text message that described the event. It was simply too ridiculous not to share with you. Enjoy!
I have to let you know how it turned out with the doctor. Despite the lack of sanity displayed in her rambling text messages I decided I just had to meet her so I set up a date at a dive bar with good food where I discovered the following:
· She was fired from her residency program due to a mental breakdown (long blonde weave and fake eyelashes may have had something to do with it as well)
· Upon her termination she decided to go from an A cup to a DD cup (it looks like she had the same surgeon as Tara Reid)
· Thinks lipstick should be liberally applied to the teeth
· Showed up blazed, and admitted to smoking weed everyday
· Also admitted to masturbating everyday
· She played D1 basketball in college and played pro ball in Norway
Having an extreme affinity towards insane women we headed back to my place after the date. She smoked bowl after bowl and then drank all of my roommate’s honey. We then had 2 hours of cardio intense sex. The savagery was prison level. I was tossed around like a child and it was awesome. She is also a squirter and soaked my sheets. Afterwards she told me “Damn, I promised my therapist I wouldn’t have sex with you tonight”.
I am probably going to see this chick again despite the 50 or so red flags. She was a good time and I love making horrible decisions with women.
PS. She was flirting with me pretty violently; pushing me, hitting me, throwing things at me etc. It was pretty intense given her size, strength, and insanity.
PPS. In the morning she smoked a bowl while riding me.
PPPS. John is credited with the assist but I think the doc will get an in person meeting with Brendan Shanahan and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police for unsportsmanlike conduct with intent to injure, boarding, roughing the passer, genocide, and illegal use of the hands.
Love you guys, please pray for me!