Do you ever wonder where the ladies at your local gentlemen's club stand on today's important issues? You know, shit like LOST, Battlestar Galactica or beave hair? We do, too, so we sent our superstar scumbag, Sergeant Spock BUCKTON to get the dirt.

Also, BUCKTON happened into a chance meeting with big-shot TV heartthrob Shane West (you know, he was on ER! Or maybe he still is, who knows!), where he was able to relay a jail-time plea from our reclusive shithead, MEAT BALL.

Sounds like an enthralling video, right? Wrong. That's why we made sure the thing was packed to the gills with monster-sized tits. We figured that ought to keep all you scumbangin' shitheads in line, at least until next week.

Also, we apologize for the use of the term "scumbangin' shitheads". We totally only kind-of meant it.

A WALK TO REMEMBER