Many people don't realize that as an adult entertainment blog, we have very little value to the world at large. In fact, the other day, when we were in the midst of a heated exchange, an adult entertainment PR company called us "civilians clowns" on twitter and an adult performer referred to our Alexa ranking as lame and called us, "POPWHAT?"
Thus, it's clear that our presence is neither necessary nor required...to the uneducated.
You see, we do serve a purpose from time to time. For example, James Deen teaming up with Doc Johnson for a brand new, exclusive toy line!
You might not know this, but as recently as three weeks ago, while drunk at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino we were speaking with James Deen. The topic? No, not underage kids who take advantage of lax internet laws to view, repeatedly, scenes of him inserting his penis into various holes of the female anatomy and then posting pictures of it on his blog, no, we were talking about his penis as a marketable commodity.
"James" we said, "why is it that you don't have a life-like dong on the market?"
"What the hell is a dong?" he asked.
"James, a dong is a thing, molded and sold!"
"Can I throw it at people when I am mad?" He asked lazily.
"I presume you can, indeed!"
"Will it look vaguely like my dick?"
"James, it will look exactly like your dick!"
At this point in the conversation, I believe I peed my pants and James started eating napkins. Nevertheless, friends, that is how we help.
You see, while to some we might be "civilian clowns" our talent lies in deeper more nuanced regions. Regions called, "Synergy" and "Corporate Connectivity". While it may just be a coincidence, it's obvious that our vision of a world where a 25-year-old man could sell a life-like replica of his penis for financial gain and sexual dominance, was one that helped guide our good friend James to finally step into the toy brand stratosphere. Who else, but folks like us could see the forest for the trees? While others may hem and haw over "awards", we do our best to stay out of the limelight in favor of finding logical symbiosis to allow, predicate and prejuntucate business opportunities never before actualized, rebinoized nor logisticalized. It's what we do for those whom we love.
We don't do it for the awards. We do it to see the industry thrive and grow. No, please, don't thank us. We'll just be over here juggling.
P.S. - Just imagine the number of "Deenagers" who will be using this thing to cram up their yip-yips. Gross!