While we're not the brightest lights in Vegas we do know a little bit about a little bit. That's why today, before we knock off on our Thanksgiving vacation we're dolling out a bit of harsh reality laced with some good, old-fashioned, free advice. Consider yourselves lucky.

Ready?

If you are thinking about starting a porn company (well actually, our first bit of advice might be to NOT start a porn company but let's continue, shall we?) and that porn company is planning to release physical product (meaning DVDs or Blu-ray's) for sale to the public don't make your first movie a parody.

Why? Well, it makes you look ridiculous and dated and pretty much every other adjective that might be used to describe any business venture that has completely jumped the shark and was probably started by a 50 year old business man who thinks Ed Hardy shirts are, "bitchin'".

You see, Thrust Films (catchy folks!), a new adult company has decided to launch their sure-to-be-a-rocket-to-the-top-of-the-pops company with a porn parody based on the Tomb Raider franchise and its heroine Lara Croft. Sure, not a single retailer, store or consumer gives a damn about porn parodies anymore, but wait, Thrust has that boredom licked? How, you ask? Well this porn parody based on a tired and dated video game and horrible film franchise is interactive!

To which you might say, "Oh, that dated adult technology that allows me to choose which angles I'd like to see the performer have sex which is ultimately unsatisfying and typically, pretty unattractive to watch as well?"

YES!

Thrust Films, we hope you can hear the sound of million sleeping porn fans from your office. Seriously, stop now and open a Pizza joint instead. Everyone loves pizza.

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NOT JENNIFER LOPEZ XXX: AN AMERICAN IDOL

THIS AIN'T CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM XXX